For those with an attention span greater than that of a paramecium, you'll likely remember that the original Killzone was hailed as a "Halo Killer" back in the days before we all started hating George W. Bush and were convinced that terrorists were hiding dirty bombs in places other than our dirty underwear. Long story short, the first game kind of stunk and everybody laughed and laughed at Sony when they announced they were going to make a sequel. We laughed even harder when we saw the "gameplay footage" of the new title at E3 2005, and became even more convinced that the gaming industry execs must have been thinking we were idiots. But while we were guffawing, hee-hawing, and generally making other ridiculous noises of mirth, Sony and Guerilla Games set out to shut us all up once and for all. As it turns out they'll be the ones laughing last, as Killzone 2 is an audio-visual treat and may finally be the signature game the PS3 has been longing for.

Wow, What a Beautiful Ugly Planet You Live On

   The first thing that has to be mentioned when talking about Killzone 2 is its graphics. I know that game critics and fanboys normally put way too much emphasis on how games look as opposed to how they play, but this is one of those rare cases where the game stands head-and-shoulders above the competition, and so it simply must be discussed. If you don't like it, now would be a good time to go read something by Chaucer and drink Earl Grey tea while discussing Vivaldi with your butler. We didn't want you here anyway.

   The entire game takes place on the Helghast home world of Helghan, and from the moment you set foot on its dusty soil you can feel the cold metal soul of this planet. Helghan has been exploited for only one purpose, to produce weapons of war, and that's evident by the environment all around you. Huge industrial buildings tower overhead, their exteriors pocked with rust due to lack of maintenance. The outside world is dusty and brown, there are no crops, no grasses and the only trees are dead and withered; after all, since none of these things help the Helghan destroy their opposition, they are merely frivolous amenities that have no place in a world like this. The entirety of the world is hideous, but it's not ugly in the way we think of games with bad textures and poor lighting; rather, this is an exquisitely crafted environment that is meant to convey the sheer brutality of war, and does so quite well.

   Complimenting this visual brilliance is an audio quality set to rival anything Hollywood can produce. The game is recorded and broadcast in true 7.1 surround sound, so anyone with a nice home theatre system is going to want to crank it up. Of course, your neighbors won't bother you because they'll be so scared by the ultra-realistic sounds of gunshots, screams and explosions coming from every direction they'll likely steer clear for fear of getting involved in some sort of drug deal gone wrong. For added realism, poke your head out the front door from time to time and shout, "You're a dead man Paco!" before slamming the door and returning to your game. Then, when the police come, you can show them that nothing's going on and have the neighbors arrested for false reporting. Ain't America grand?

Keep Your Head Down

Nothing New Here

   By this point you've probably noticed I haven't really bothered to delve into the specifics of the game's story or unique gameplay features. That's mostly because the story is a generic tale of revenge (tired of the Helghast invasions, the ISA goes after them on their home turf), and there's really nothing new in the single-player experience you haven't seen before. There are all the same generic shooter levels; train, sewers, factory, etc., a couple turret sections/mech suit battles to break things up, and as always you're after a big ol' meanie enemy leader who inexplicably wastes all his chances to kill you by taunting you instead, and allowing you to further muck up his plans. Sigh, it's always the ones you don't kill who go and ruin everything.

   Still, the lack of innovation really isn't a bad thing because everything Killzone 2 does it manages to do better than just about anything else out there. Besides, we all know that the only real innovation in shooters comes in the multiplayer, and this title delivers that kind of action in spades...

And There Goes What Little Free Time I Had Left

   While you may play through the single-player campaign once or twice for the fun of it, we all know the real reason to play shooters is for the fun of blasting both friends and total strangers in the face for no good reason. Thankfully, Killzone 2 delivers in this respect, as the multiplayer system is easily the deepest on the PS3, and can rival just about anything else out there on any platform.

   While there's really not much new in terms of game modes, the title takes the standard multiplayer match and flips it on its head. Instead of playing a round of capture the flag or assassination and then getting kicked back to the main menu once its done, Killzone 2 sets up 5 different match types in a row, and each flows one after another in combat. So players go for a round, the winning team gets a point and then the title goes directly into the next matchup. It's smooth, it's flawless and it makes us wonder why nobody else thought of it before (sort of like the guy who came up with putting peanut butter and jelly in the same jar).

   On top of the innovative match style, the game also features an evolving class system that can easily stack up to anything you might find in Call of Duty or Team Fortress 2. You start off with a simple soldier who packs an assault rifle and single grenade, and then as you gain experience and level up you can unlock new classes and new perks. Sounds pretty standard so far right? Well hold onto your socks because they're about to be blown off. Each class has several special objectives that can be fulfilled in a given session, and meeting the requirements earns you a service ribbon. Earn enough ribbons and players are then granted a badge which allows you to transfer that skill over to any other character class. For example, if you're playing as a medic you may be tasked with reviving 5 players in a round and doing so earns you a ribbon; get 8 of these ribbons and you can take your revival skill to any other class, allowing you to multitask. So, if you want to be a sentry who can revive people as well as place turrets or a sniper who can deploy guns to watch his back while he camps it's all here. Now you can finally become the killing machine you've always wanted to be!

Go Buy This Or the Helghast Will Eat You

   The subject header pretty much sums it up; you need to buy this game immediately once it comes out. Even if you don't own a PS3, buy a copy anyway and wish real hard for the gaming fairies to bring you a new console. When that fails, feel free to steal your friend's unit and then pretend to feel bad when he tells you about how somebody broke into his house, stole his PS3 and kicked his dog. All the while you'll be silently laughing at his misfortune and reminding yourself you only kicked the pooch because he peed on you while you were unhooking the system from the TV. At this point feel free to excuse yourself to go see if the stain ever came out and enjoy some ill-gotten Killzone 2 goodness. He'll understand. After all, this is probably the best game on the PS3 yet.

       ... Brad