As a member of the Jewish religion, I have certain obligations. For example, I attend synagogue during high holidays, and recently I attended Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur services. The whole point of this Jewish new year thing is to forgive, repent, and be forgiven. And so I found myself uttering a few extra praises to lord Yahweh as I spent the next few hours at home laughing maniacally while ruthlessly gunning down endless waves of Nazi foot soldiers that looked an awful lot like Richard Nixon. God bless.

You can't spell WWII without Wii.

   Throughout the 20th and 21st centuries, people have never gotten enough WWII in their games. Ever since Hitler decided not to play nice with the other kids on the world's playground, America's youth has always been itching for a good fight without actually having to deal with loss of limbs or stubbed toes. And voila: The eternal WWII FPS gaming genre.

   Unfortunately, some may see the WWII genre aging and withering before their very eyes like their favorite porn magazines being thrown in the fireplace after being discovered under their beds. (OMG! And there you thought you were original with your hiding place!) Sadly, the "been there, done that, shot that" complex does kick in after so many games. But Innovation, with its white steed, mighty sword, and magical sequin thong comes to the WWII genre's aid with its latest weapons: the Wii and the Wii Zapper (more on the Zapper later).

Get down, Berg! Get down!

Let's see Lego Indiana Jones do THAT!

   There are around a dozen or so weapons at your disposal, and each has its strengths and weaknesses. In the story mode, in each level your character starts out with a Thompson, a pistol, and a few grenades. You can hold three weapons at a time, but if you want to use another weapon, you can only switch out one of your two non-grenade weapons, meaning you have to choose your firearm priorities for different situations carefully. Pinned down by soldiers? Pop a few pistol caps into them to survive any last stand. Nazis making faces at you from that building way over there? Your trusty, somewhat dusty sniper rifle should show them who should be laughing. Co-worker photocopy his butt again? Your shotgun could be your best friend.

   I've only had problems with two weapons: grenades and, if it can be referred to as a weapon, melee combat. The player throws a grenade by holding a button and simulating throwing something. Unfortunately, the accuracy is poor and the range of damage it does to the enemy lines is simply disappointing. However, if an enemy throws a grenade at you, you'd better run like hell, which often results in a few bullet wounds as you run for another cover spot.

   Melee combat, though, feels at least ten times worse. In theory, when using the Wii Zapper, your player gives the enemy a good whack with the butt of his weapon by thrusting forward with the controller. Getting the melee attack to respond, however, is like trying to revive a dead insect by giving it mouth to mouth.

   It simply doesn't work.

   Thrusting the controller to initiate a gun-butt-whack (that's what she said!) often instead activates the reloading function or sends the camera wild. And if you actually successfully use melee, there's about a 1% chance the attack will hit home. Thankfully, you are only required to use grenades twice, and if you conserve your ammo (and you can run out), you will hopefully never have to resort to using your puny, underdeveloped excuse for muscular force.

Artificial Intelligence my ass.

   Medal of Honor: Heroes 2 also sadly lacks in another area: the AI. Your allies have the intelligence of common garden ants, and while they actually do inflict some damage, many times they will simply disappear after about ten minutes of fighting and dying pathetically. Luckily, the enemy AI has the same amount of intelligence (or lack thereof). While the Nazis have an itchy trigger finger, their reaction time when you're standing right next to them is miserable (in a really good way for you). And while the enemy is great in numbers, Axis troops normally don't have any strategy besides "hide immediately" and "shoot or be shot". It can also be a little strange how enemies seem to come in nearly infinite numbers, sometimes appearing out of thin air as if somebody up (or down) there wants you dead and is willing to spare no expense in making it happen. So the best strategy is to search everywhere for Nazis and to never step out into the open for too long, unless being drilled with bullets is one of your secret fetishes. It's okay, I won't tell.

Three ways of play to waste the day

   If the story mode isn't your cup o' joe, you can try arcade mode on for size. Arcade mode is just what you'd think it is. You move around automatically and all you have to do is duck, reload, and shoot. This is good if you want to work on precision, or if you just want to ease into story mode.

   Story mode itself has three difficulty levels: green, veteran, and hero. If you're new, green mode comes with an auto-aim that is surprisingly accurate. And when you're ready to take your training wheels off, you may want to try your hand at veteran and hero modes.

   If you want even more of a challenge (there's just no pleasing you, is there?), then try taking on the online multiplayer community. If the abrupt difficulty change isn't enough to make you cry, then the different varieties of games (pistols only, no melee, grenades only, etc...) should provide an additional treat. And if THAT isn't enough for you, well you can just go to HELL!!

To zap or not to zap...

   As I must have told you before, Medal of Honor: Heroes 2 offers full support of the Wii Zapper. "But what IS the Wii Zapper?" I hear the voices ask. Well, mysterious voices, the Wii Zapper is an attachment for the Wii Remote and Nunchuck that simulates a small rifle. As far as I know, Link's Crossbow Training is the only other game that uses the Zapper. While you can use this peripheral, you don't really have to, which is good news for all the old-school fogies who wear their pants up to their chests. Come on, you know who you are! I really suggest, though, that you at least try the Wii Zapper out. Despite the fact that it's obviously plastic and miniscule, and kind of makes your arm hurt slightly (that is also what she said!), it really immerses you in the WWII experience in a "sensual" way, even though it takes a while to get used to.

At ease, soldier.

   All in all, despite its setbacks, Medal of Honor: Heroes 2 is an innovative experience that brings WWII to life in your living room. Just wash your hands when you're done.

       ... Purpleblob