When it comes to badasses, there are a few specific folks who come to mind. Chuck Norris, with his roundhouse kicks of fury, Steven Segal, with the ponytail of doom, and Martha Stewart and her soul-stealing stare. However, none of these pillars of destruction quite match up to Sparta's greatest warrior, Kratos (Martha Stewart comes awfully close, but I've got to think Kratos could take her so long as she doesn't get the drop on him).

   The Ghost of Sparta is now haunting the PSP with God of War: Chains of Olympus, the latest entry into a franchise which has seen both critical and commercial success. Things are no different this time around, as this adventure proves that even when Kratos is only an inch tall, he still packs enough power to utterly destroy you a thousand times over. Fans of the series or anyone looking for a worthwhile addition to their PSP library would do well to give this one a go.

It Would Really Be in the Gods' Best Interest Just to Do this Stuff Themselves

   Chains of Olympus is actually not so much the next installment in the God of War story as it is a prequel, albeit a prequel that requires you to have played the first two games in order to understand it. Of course, you should have played the first two games anyway, and if you haven't I have no time for you, and would like you to leave right now before your presence makes me sad. The general feeling of malaise in my soul means a few of you non-players are still lingering, but I'll allow you to stick around so long as you don't look me directly in the eye.

   At any rate, at the game's start Kratos, under the direction of the gods, is tasked with protecting Attica from an invading Persian army. In true God of War tradition, the Persians haven't come alone, and they've brought a massive basilisk to tear up the town and generally make your life miserable. Of course, giant critters just mean an extra big dinner for Kratos, so by the end of the first level he has dispatched the lizard with minimal problems.

   Things really pick up from here, as Helios, the sun god, is captured, and Morpheus, god of dreams, is using his sleepy-time fog to try and take over the land. I know - it's a total bitch move to take over the world with fog, more befitting an effeminate Bond villain than a Greek god, but don't worry, there's more going on. In fact, you'll soon forget all about Morpheus, as in the ultimate deus ex machina, you'll be facing off against an entirely different threat by game's end.

   The only real knock on the story is that it's far too short, as the entire game can be completed in around seven hours assuming you don't spend a large amount of time sightseeing. Thus, the whole tale feels a bit rushed, and the ending comes far too abruptly for a God of War title. Also, the narrative doesn't pull you in and make you root for Kratos like you've likely grown accustomed to; instead he comes across as a self-obsessed whiny pants annoyed at having to save the gods' keisters yet again. There are still some intense moments, though - specifically a sequence in the Elysian Fields that will tear at your heart no matter how stone cold you think you are. It's okay to cry big guy, it just shows that you're human. A sissy, wimpy human.

Itty Bitty Screen, Large Swaths of Destruction

Hey, Where Did Kratos Go?

   It's not a stretch to say that Chains of Olympus is likely the second-best looking game on the PSP, right behind Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII. Of course, the easiest way to become the best looking game would be for the Ready at Dawn crew to head over to Square Enix headquarters and channel their inner Kratos, killing and burning until there is no trace that Crisis Core ever existed. Barring that course of action though, it's still high praise to say that Chains of Olympus looks just as good as any PS2 God of War title.

   The only thing detracting from visual perfection is the fact that this game is dark. And I don't mean emo roommate cutting himself while listening to Matchbook Romance dark; I mean the screen could use more brightness. Even with the PSP screen turned up to the max (thus shortening the battery life to 83 seconds), there were still quite a few moments when I found myself squinting into a corner, trying to make out if that was a treasure chest back there, a piece of rubble, or my extra car key I've been trying to find for months.

Look, Kratos is Standing Right Behind Me, and if You Don't Play This Game He's Going to Do Unspeakable Things to My... Gah!!!

   Chains of Olympus is one of those unfortunate games that has to live up to almost otherworldly expectations due to its pedigree. The previous God of War titles sit atop the PlayStation pantheon, and a prequel from an untested developer is usually a recipe for disaster. However, Ready at Dawn really stepped up to the plate and delivered an excellent experience with their sophomore outing. While the game may be a bit on the short side, and even though there isn't much innovation to be found, there's no reason to nitpick on what is otherwise a terrific experience. Play this game, or Kratos will rip your arms off and beat you to death with them.

       ... Brad