Welcome to the world of No More Heroes, the first truly uninhibited, seriously adult game for Nintendo's normally kid-friendly trapezoid. Forget those other M-rated games like the Resident Evils and such; no, famed quirky-ass creator Suda 51 has taken Wii gaming to a whole new level, and it kicks ass.

Rated M for "Mother of God that's a s@*%load of blood!"

   If you enjoyed Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill (the action half, not the mommy half), then No More Heroes will be right up your alley. It's got that same irreverent feel: the blood spouting from your vanquished foes, the snappy dialog, the stereotypical sensei and other supporting cast members. But this game is not merely a re-hashing of a great flick. It's much more than that, and is surprisingly deep for what amounts to basically a 10 to 15 hour hack-and-slash adventure.

You mean this is like that time when I chased my mother-in-law across the neighborhood with a lawn mower?

Ok, my six o'clock shadow is as shady as it's going to get. When do we get to the killing?

   If you want blood, you got it. Stepping into the offices of the K-Entertainment building will score you a date with some crazies with guns, knives, or Mace Windu purple beam katanas (damn you, Lucas!). These side missions are a lot more fun than the more mundane regular tasks, and usually net you more money in a shorter amount of time, making them ideal for gaining enough dough to enter the next ranked fight or buy upgrades to your sword later in the game. Some of them can get a little repetitive, though racking up the body count and seeing how many you can get in a row without being hit makes for some genuine fun.

   After you score enough cash, you'll make a deposit at the ATM and await directions to the next ranked battle. The game starts out by giving you free entry into the first battle, allowing you to kill your way through a mansion full of Crazy-88 clones before reaching the fight to become ranked #10. After that you have do your own legwork to seek out your opponents and make your way through more lackeys before you get a shot at the next highest number. Each enemy has his or her own background and characteristics, and the henchmen fill their roles respectfully. On your way to number 9, for example, you'll head to Destroy Stadium (what a place to take your kid for his first baseball game!), where you'll have to break out your Bonds-ian roid rage on a ton of baseball jersey-sporting thugs before you meet the ranked assassin at the pitcher's mound.

   After defeating each boss, you'll be rewarded with a ton of cash to go toward the next bout, a health upgrade, and sometimes, information that can lead to the development of newer and better katanas (or is that katanae?). Sound familiar? Yeah, the game isn't just Star Wars and Kill Bill references. You'll also see plenty of throwbacks and nods to famous games, such as the Zelda-like advancement system, 8-bit graphics and sounds for the menus, and even a sweet top-down shooter mission that takes the place of a loading screen during one of the later battles. Suda 51 may be seen as a few sandwiches short of a picnic, but you can't say the guy's not a geek. And he's clever, too. I mean, who else would have thought that saving your game by taking a dump would work? Yeah, really. You hit the can to save progress, and each subsequent time you start up you'll first encounter Travis as he rises from the pot. It's a hysterical addition to the gameplay that actually provides some fun as you see how many different types of lavatories he can visit.

   The 8-bit sound theme may be a bit deceiving, since the production value on this game is anything but low. Cut-scenes are well rendered and fully voiced, with some quality acting and very funny lines thrown in. The art style is top notch for the Wii, and properly suits Travis's propensity for anime and such. The music is appropriately corny when cruising around town and perfectly heart-pumping when in the heat of battle. It's a well-rounded effort on a system that is desperately lacking in complete packages.

Let's see how well you handle it

   Since this is a Wii game, I would be remiss if I didn't mention the control scheme. Travis is moved with the analog stick, and the Z button allows for locking onto targets. The A button performs sword slashes, while the B button allows you to hit with your fists or feet, and also grabs enemies in order to perform wrestling moves. When you beat down a bad dude enough, an arrow will appear on screen, prompting you to swing the Wii remote in the designated direction. This doesn't require a lot of thinking, nor a lot of movement, and results in a fluid, extremely satisfying finishing move that leads to arms and heads flying across the room. Reading about it makes it sound a tad clunky, but really, once you get into the heat of battle and start kicking ass, you just get into a groove and can't help but smile as each faceless goon goes down in a screaming, bloody heap.

   When traveling around Santa Destroy, you'll hop on Travis's superbike, which is white, has red stripes on the side, and can be seen to have an X-shaped profile when looked at from the back. Almost like a certain starfighter that shall not be named, lest we get into more trouble with the Lucasian Empire. The bike fits in well with the mood of the game, though, as its flame booster and E-brake capabilities allow you to ride around the town like the total badass that you are. It also helps you get places more quickly, but really, that's secondary to looking cool, right?

   When not engaging the enemy, you may want to take time to unwind, shop, or workout. All of these are viable options in Santa Destroy (tell me you don't freaking love that name by now!), as you can go rent a movie to learn a new wrestling move, visit the Area 51 clothing store to get Travis all pimped out for his next mission, or visit the Thunder Ryu gym and pump some iron into those bicepts and quads to increase combos and strength. There's tons to do around the city to keep you occupied while you make your way from job to job or battle to battle. Check all the garbage bins, too. You never know what you might find hidden there.

Kicking ass and taking numbers

   As you work your way up to number 1, you'll unravel a storyline that, though not perfect, again seems to suit the game just fine. There are some subtle twists that may throw you for a loop here and there, but overall the plotline keeps the game moving forward steadily and without too many bumps in the road. There's even an alternate, "Real" ending to be seen, provided you collected enough items throughout the course of the game.

   The mass killings can get a tad repetitive at times, but not so much that it drags the overall effect of the game down. Take a short break and you'll want to be back swinging Travis's katana again in no time, making bantha fodder (son of a--) out of some bad guys.

       ... Darthziggy