Recently, gaming has been suffering from a lack of original ideas. Most of the biggest-selling games, much like the highest-grossing movies, have been sequels of already successful franchises. Eternal Sonata strives to be a fresh breath in the RPG market, but it's the type of game that proves you can have all the great ideas in the world, but if you don't execute it doesn't mean much. Ultimately, the game turns out to be a lot of half-baked ideas that provide a solid foundation, but never pay off in the end. Still, you've got to give them points for trying.

Dude, Death is Like, Totally Trippy.

   The basic storyline of Eternal Sonata is that as famed composer Frederic Chopin lays unconscious, racked by tuberculosis, he drifts off into a wondrous dream world. In his vision, people who are near death are granted the power to use magic. It is with this premise we meet Polka, a young girl who, though terminally ill, is still trying to make ends meet by selling floral powder medicine in a local city. Things aren't going well however, as Count Waltz, the ruler of the kingdom has placed severe taxes on all goods other than mineral powder, a supposed wonder drug that masks its more sinister side effects. Frederic and Polka set out together to try and speak with Count Waltz in an effort to make him change his tune, (oh look, I made a music pun and didn't even realize it, I'm so clever :)) and meet a motley crew of supporting characters along the way. As you can tell, the game relies heavily on musical terms for the names of its characters and locales, and it's definitely a hit and miss proposition. Some names are clever and unique (Allegretto, Falsetto, Tenuto), while others are downright stupid (Beat, March, Ritardando). Seriously? Ritardando? How am I not supposed to make fun of that? No, no, I refuse to make a cheap joke about mental handicap; I'm too mature for that. Now, if they had named it Shitsville instead, then I'd be all over it.

   It's nearly impossible to describe the story beyond the first few hours, as from that point on it devolves into a mess of philosophical musings, convoluted storytelling, and unsatisfying conclusions. None of the characters' objectives or intentions are ever spelled out very well, and for the most part the party just seems to float from objective to objective with no real sense of purpose. Inter-dispersed within the main story are scenes of Chopin on his deathbed and lengthy still-motion landscape pictures, with a narration of the life and politics of Chopin and his home of Poland in the early 1800s. (In case you are wondering as to the definition of a "lengthy still-motion picture", that's what happens when a redundancy butt-rapes an oxymoron on top of an old painting - ed.) It's all a bit overwhelming, and by about the game's midpoint you'll realize that the developers have abandoned all hope of telling a coherent story and would rather just lay out their philosophy term papers while giving you a history lesson. Note to the developers: I'm not your professor, I won't be grading your finals, and I don't care about your thoughts on humanity being corrupted by power. It's been done before; it doesn't need to be done again. The game had a great opportunity to explore some big questions about the nature of life and death as well as the impact of one person facing a world of darkness, but that never really happens. I guess it was just too much to ask for a storyline that might sensibly coincide with the death of a beloved musical figure.

Ok, So It's Preachy, Is It At Least Fun?

Come Out Come Out Wherever You Are!

   In addition to all of the other battle elements, the game also introduces important differences between light and shadow. Each character is given different special attacks considering whether they are standing in a lighted area or in a shadowy place. Enemies face a similar dichotomy, with some baddies changing form and powers depending on where they stand. There is a lot of potential here for exceptionally unique combat mechanics, but the light/dark system ultimately proves to be little more than a gimmick, and one which doesn't necessarily have a hugely significant effect on the gameplay.

   What holds the game back more than anything is that it's simply too easy. Most fights can be easily won by mashing the attack button until your time runs out, and then slamming on the special attack key to finish off your foe. Also, effectively blocking an enemy attack renders their hits nearly inconsequential, and a successful counterattack not only hurts the baddies, but completely cancels their turn as well. Needless to say, this effectively removes the need for much tactical thinking during battle, effectively rendering useless many advantages of the very combat system that developers worked so hard to put into place. I didn't face a game over a single time while playing Eternal Sonata, and that includes taking on all of the levels of the game's secret dungeon, which supposedly represents the nastiest monsters the developers could create. Shoot, I didn't even lose a single character during battle until after Chapter 3. A lot of the fun is gone as soon as you realize that you have to try if you want to lose. Aside from the occasional mildly-challenging boss, winning a battle requires about the same amount of skill as falling down the stairs, and it's only slightly less painful. By the time my game was over I thought I was going to have to get a new thumb, as I haven't been so sore since Devil May Cry 3.

The Theatre of the Mind is a Beautiful Place

   The title achieves a lot of success in the realms of graphics and sound, with only minor issues detracting from a grand experience. The characters sport the traditional overly-cute Japanese features with giant round faces and eyes, and the wardrobes are intricate and fanciful. The environments are also incredibly vivid, with a distinctive Impressionist feel. Sadly, the game is a victim of its own success here, as the paths are exceptionally linear and exploration is discouraged. While you may want to go explore that field of flowers or mysterious ridge, you likely won't get to, as it's too far off the beaten path. Remember when you were a little kid, and your parents put you on the baby leash? And whenever you started to wander off they'd hit the button and the rope would stop feeding and stop you dead in your tracks? It's a lot like that, but with slightly less chest bruising.

   As is to be expected in a game about a famous composer, the musical score is exceptional. While Chopin's piano pieces are largely confined to the cutscenes narrating his life, the rest of the music is just as good. In fact, it's precisely because the music is so good that it's so awfully painful to listen to the voice acting. Most of the characters have a bad tendency to over-emote, and it's not like their voices are that pleasant to begin with. Beyond Chopin and Salsa, the rest of the crew tends to come across as whiny, stupid, or downright irritating. Of course, it doesn't help that they've been given a terrible script to work with. I'm sorry, but no eight year-old should be lecturing anyone on the proper use of natural resources, it just doesn't work. Compounding the problem is the fact that any time one of your characters uses one of their special moves in battle they are compelled to yell out their catchphrase. Since this is the exact same phrase every time it gets exceptionally old, especially later in the game where you'll likely be using the same attack multiple times in the same fight. You know that friend that still says LOL every time you tell him a joke... in person? Yeah, this game is that friend, and believe me when I say that it's not one bit less annoying. And if you don't have any friends... well, just remember that X-Play episode where they made horrible fun of Naruto, then. Good god.

Move Along Folks, Nothing to See Here

   In a way it pains me to write this review, as I really wanted to like this game. In fact, I even poked around the web for a bit to see if I could find something I missed that would bump this game into the category of must-own. Unfortunately, there's no such magic bullet, and the game is what it is, a decent RPG that tries to blaze a new trail but fizzles out along the way. The story goes from promising to confusing, the gameplay jumps from intriguing to boring, the landscapes are enticing yet forbidden, and the music is brilliant while the voice acting is awful. RPG fans may enjoy the game and its attempt to try something new, but it's not going to win any new fans over to the genre.

       ... Brad