When Nintendo birthed the Mario franchise two decades ago they had no idea what was in store. Hell, they didn't even go to the store. Not only has Mario served as an effective mascot, but he's proven he's good at so many different things! Not only can he jump on baddies and throw fireballs, but he also excels at golf, baseball, soccer, and recently even earned a slot in the Olympics alongside Sonic the Hedgehog. Unfortunately, our Italian friend has been so busy "exploring his boundaries" that he's forgotten who he is. All us poor schlubs haven't seen a Mario platformer since Super Mario Sunshine, and we all know that game pales in comparison to Super Mario 64. Thankfully, the Dark Ages are behind us, as the mustachioed one is back with one of his greatest adventures yet.

What's That? Peach has Been Kidnapped? Yeah, That's Pretty Much a Weekly Occurrence Around Here.

   Our story opens in the Mushroom Kingdom during the celebration of the Star Festival. This centennial event is cause for wild parties and everyone is living it up. Actually, I learned that the reason Toads wear diapers is because after about their fifth shot of Tequila they find it difficult to control their bladders. Amidst all the joy and revelry Bowser appears and kidnaps Princess Peach, castle and all. Mario gives chase, but is quickly thrown into the harsh blackness of space, presumably left to drift forever.

   As luck would have it though, Mario lands on a passing space station, where he is befriended by Rosalina and her children, the Luma. The Luma are small star children, and it is Rosalina's charge to take care of them until they are grown up and ready to become full-fledged stars. Honestly, if Mario were a smart man, the game would have ended right here. Rosalina is a smokin' hottie, and she is far more self-reliant than Peach will ever be. However, our Italian friend is a stupid, ahem, I mean, monogamous man, and the lovely lady of the stars agrees to take Mario to the center of the universe to find his "special one." Of course, you can't just fly off and take down Bowser, the space station is broken, and only the strength of the power stars can fix it.

Mario's First Interstellar Adventure, He's Going to Need a Very Large Spacesuit

Smackolicious

   Obviously Mario isn't the only one cavorting about these worlds, and baddies will constantly beset you in order to ruin your day. However, Mario has always been more than a match for any Gomba, Koopa Trooper, or Magikoopa, and he's not about to let that change. Mario's brought all his traditional jumps and stomps with him to battle, and he's added a nifty spin move and a projectile attack as well. Players can make the Red Wonder spin by shaking the Wiimote, and you can even fire "Star Bits" to stun your enemies by pointing the onscreen cursor at them and pressing the "B" button. Occasionally, Mario will don a costume that grants him special powers. You know, kind of in the same, but totally different way that a piñata costume grants you the power to be hit with sticks. Certain mushrooms will grant Mario the ability to fly, create ice paths, super jump, or throw fireballs. It's a fun wrinkle to add to the gameplay, and spices things up just when it starts to get boring. Overall, the gameplay works very well, making the vast majority of the game a simple, accessible, yet exceptionally fun affair.

   I say "usually" because there are times when the game tries to mix things up and throw in some "unique" mechanics. On a few missions, the game tries to utilize the Wii's motion sensors by requiring you to tilt the remote in order to control movement. While there's nothing inherently wrong with this control scheme, the levels in which it is implemented are some of the game's most difficult, leading to many deaths and very high blood pressure. A quick tip, if you find yourself in a level that looks like you've fallen into a game of Super Monkey Ball: run far, far away as quickly as possible. The good news is, you can beat the game without ever touching one of these insane levels, but if you want all 120 stars, you're going to have to gut it out... and do it more than once.

   One other gameplay innovation that ultimately flops is the idea of integrating a two-player cooperative play mode into the main game. A second player can jump into the game and collect star bits, stun enemies, grab items, and make Mario jump, but the role is both unnecessary and intrusive. Really, it's in the best interest of all your friendships to just go this one alone. If someone insists on playing this game with you, it would be better to simply break both their arms. It may seem extreme, but your relationship will heal far faster than if you try to coordinate who is supposed to be doing what.

A Very Nice Package, Wrapped With a Pretty Little Bow

   Soon after firing up the game it becomes very apparent that a lot of work went into the presentation. The galaxies you'll explore are all very vibrant and colorful, and the characters and environments are all exceptionally well-rendered. It's often been said that due to the Wii's lack of hardware it will never be able to produce eye-popping graphics, but you wouldn't know it to play Galaxy. The game is smooth, crisp, and you'll never have to worry about frame rate stutters or ugly jaggies.

   While the graphics shine, the game's sound manages to hit a few sour notes. The level music is fine, and always seems to fit the situation, but the voice acting is downright awful. While other Nintendo mascots like Link and Samus Aran have remained mute through the years, Mario has found his voice. Unfortunately, his voice is grating and stereotypical, and the worst part of the game by far is firing it up and hearing the famous plumber yell "SUPER MARIO GALAXY!!!!" I think the reason Mario and Peach have not yet wed is because they fear the kids will have her propensity for being kidnapped and his awful voice. The merciful thing to do would be to return Mario to being the strong, silent type. Sadly, I don't think that is in the cards.

   The only other complaint I had about the game was that occasionally the controls would decide to work against me. Running from one side of a planet to the other or sudden changes in gravity tended to create a moment of disorientation, and sometimes that moment was all it took for me to be flattened, burned, or otherwise killed or maimed in terrible ways. It's not enough of an issue to ruin the gaming experience, but be forewarned that if you don't watch your step you'll likely find yourself praying that the Hindus were right about that whole reincarnation thing as you fall through empty space toward a rather intimidating-looking black hole.

If You Aren't Playing This Game Yet, You Should Be

   Since I bought my Wii I've been waiting for the game that would make me proud of Nintendo's latest contraption. I'm happy to say, that in spite of its few small flaws, Super Mario Galaxy is the Wii's best game yet, and one which every gamer should try. This is a beautiful, innovative, and downright fun game, one which will bring you hours of enjoyment. Get your ground clearance, load up on some Tang, and blast off into one of the greatest intergalactic adventures you'll ever experience.

       ... Brad