He's dominated every Nintendo platform to date. In the eyes of many, he's second only to Mario in the ranks of greatest video game characters (not in my opinion, mind you; that chubby plumber's got nothin on the Hero of Hyrule), and now he's taking over your Nintendo DS. Link is back, in The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass.

   The story picks up right after Gamecube's The Wind Waker, and even enlists one of the pirate swabbies to give you a poorly drawn rendering of that game's story, in case you needed a refresher or - *gasp* - skipped that game altogether. Fresh off kicking Ganon's sorry ass for the umpteenth time, Link sets out to explore new worlds and civilizations, or more likely, just trying to stay close to Zelda... I mean Tetra. Apparently pirates don't grow up wanting to be called princesses, and trying it here will result in Link being run up the flag pole by his unmentionables.

   One thing that grabs your attention right from the start is the art style; the game looks amazing, and is very true to its cel-shaded Gamecube roots. While the DS obviously does not pack the processing power of the 'Cube, Phantom Hourglass does hold its own in the graphics and sound departments. It looks better than most of the stuff being churned onto the handheld market, and once the newest rendition of the magical Zelda theme kicks in, you'll be swept away into the game's atmosphere.

You'd think women would learn after a while

   So, while cruising around whale watching, or whatever they do on pirate ships when there's no pirating to be done, a Ghost Ship appears out of a mysterious fog. Tetra, being the nosy bitch that she is, decides to hop on board and check it out. You know how women are with ghost ships, am I right fellas? But when she lets out a bloodcurdling scream, Link is off again in another attempt to save her. It seems that not being able to jump in all of his previous games has left him with puny little bird legs though, and he can't quite make it to the Ghost Ship. Kerplunk.

   A short cutscene later, Link is awoken on a beach by - what else - an annoying, squeaky fairy. No, it's not Navi, and no, he's not on Koholint Island (though there is plenty in this game to remind you of that long ago adventure), but he is, as is usual at the beginning of these quests, swordless, itemless, and limited to three hearts. (He appears otherwise normal with respect to legs, arms, kidneys and other organs, though). And so the searching for stuff begins.

I sense a trend here

Come on come on now touch me babe

   This is the DS after all. The one with the touch screen. You didn't think you were gonna get off easy with a button mashing old-school Zelda experience, did you? Instead, this time Nintendo opts for an adventure that is entirely controlled by the stylus - and it works beautifully.

   It sounds weird at first, and when you start the game, you'll make some mistakes and roll into a lot of houses; but once you get the hang of the touch controls, you'll be speeding through dungeons and dropping monsters just like you used to on the NES (or Super NES for you young'uns out there). Here's a quick rundown: your stylus controls Ciela, the fairy, and Link follows her every move; just like every other man when a woman is involved. If you hold her close to Link, he'll walk slowly. Point the stylus at the far end of the screen, and he'll run in that direction. Give the pen a little twirl, and he'll do his patented tuck-and-roll maneuver. Once you get the sword, you slash across the screen to cut down trees and shrubbery (Ni!), tap enemies to perform a jump attack, or draw a quick circle to perform - you guessed it - the spin attack. It's a wonderful innovation to give just enough of a fresh polish to the standard Zelda fare.

   Another element returning from The Wind Waker is the sailing. As with the other parts of your quest, though, this has been retooled for a more DS-friendly experience, and arguably a better one than the Gamecube's somewhat boring cross-map journeys. When you leave an island, the sea chart appears on your touch screen, at which point you can plot out the course you want your ship to take. No worrying about the wind or steering in the right direction, just draw and you're off. And instead of going to the fridge for a drink while you sail to the next island, this time you actually have to pay attention, as sea-dwelling monsters, evil bird thingies, and even other nefarious pirates attack you. So much for the pirate code; these guys deserve a date with the Kraken. Not to fear, though: soon after beginning your journey, you'll acquire a cannon for your boat. Just tap the screen where you want to shoot, and BOOM! Scratch one octorock.

The pen is mightier than the sword? What if the pen IS the sword?

   Due to the new control scheme, the gameplay difficulty has been toned down a tad from what it can be, but what some may find as a lack of challenge is more than made up for in length and story. The tale of an evil ocean demon bringing terror upon all the islands in this part of the sea is engrossing, and Oshus (the Obi-Wan-like old dude from the beginning) gives you just enough hints to keep you wondering what's coming next.

   There were some initial reports that this game was a bit too short. I don't know which version they were playing, but it couldn't have been the one that hit store shelves, because Phantom Hourglass has plenty of depth. While the dungeons themselves may not be the huge, drawn out affairs that occasionally pop up in the series (Ocarina of Time's Water Temple, anyone?), the puzzle elements definitely make for some challenging play and very rewarding outcomes. There's nothing sweeter than hearing the traditional Legend of Zelda chime when you open a door. And there are actually a lot of levels, although you do end up traversing the Temple of the Ocean King over and over several times. There's enough variety in the level and island design to keep you occupied for quite some time. And the short dungeons actually add to the experience - this isn't a 40-hour, sit down and get as much accomplished as possible Zelda game, but rather the perfect handheld title, which you can pick up and play for 40 to 50 minutes and still be able to accomplish something before your mother figure yells at you to go take out the garbage.

What about all the gadgets?

   After all these years of finding secret items and putting them to use killing monsters, I'm beginning to wonder if Hyrule has its own Q-branch office somewhere that MI6 is keeping hidden from James Bond. Link has some kick-ass toys to play with, and they're all a lot more useful than the BMW Z3 was in Goldeneye (although to be honest, I don't think Link can use the boomerang to pick up hot Russian chicks, but I wouldn't put it past him to try). The Zelda series is ripe with awesome weapons and gadgetry, and Phantom Hourglass is no different. You'll have the standard fare, like the boomerang and bow and arrows, but with the touch screen functionality you'll find awesome new ways to use it. Got a switch hidden behind a wall that you can't hit with an arrow or bomb? Just draw a semi-circular path for your boomerang and watch it fly. There aren't any new items, really, but drawing a path for your Bombchu or using the grappling hook to bridge a gap definitely adds some creativity to the puzzle elements, and makes it all the more satisfying when you figure out which tool to use on the game's bosses.

Wi-fi? Why not?

   So that's about all for the familiar stuff. Now how about something completely different? Online multiplayer. Yes, you read that correctly. In a Zelda game. You probably need to change your pants now, I understand that, so go right ahead. Now go change them again, because it works pretty well, too. It's a simple game, in which two players take turns acting as Link, sneaking around a dungeon trying to gather force gems, or the Phantoms, guardians of the Ocean Temple trying to give him a severe beat down. It works with local or Wi-fi connections, and while it's not that deep of a gaming mode, it's another one of those little extras that adds to the overall experience of the game. By the time you beat the Ocean Temple for the final time in the adventure, you'll be a pro at trying to avoid the Phantoms, so this is a good arena in which to put those newfound skills to the test. It's definitely the weakest part of the game, but with an overall experience this good, it doesn't detract much.

Hot funk, cool punk, even if it's old junk, it's still rock and roll to me

   Another Zelda game, another enjoyable quest. It's the same basic idea time after time, but thankfully, it never gets old. With a host of new ways to perform the same enjoyable tasks, an engrossing new story (which is quite reminiscent of Link's Awakening at times), and a fantastic art style that works well on the DS, Phantom Hourglass is yet another adventure with Link that you won't mind taking.

       ... Darthziggy