Super Swing Golf is a silly game. That's what it is intended to be, and at that, it truly succeeds. Play golf as a hot pink-haired teen in a swimsuit, sporting fox ears and librarian glasses, swinging household implements instead of clubs with a paper-bag-looking thing for a caddy? Don't mind if I do. And that's just what you can expect from the rest of the game.

I got Pangya! Sweet! Wait, what's Pangya?

   Welcome to Pangya Island, a far away land whose inhabitants play a mystical game called Pangya - which strangely resembles a real pastime with just as weird a name - in order to win Pangya. Confused? Join the crew.

   The folks at Tecmo were either starved for time or just REALLY love the word Pangya, since not only does it represent half the stuff that's going on during the game, but it's yelled and scrawled across the screen every time you hit a perfect shot - which, unfortunately, isn't all that often.

It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing!

That reminds me of another story...

   It's nice to get the feel for Super Swing on your own, but soon you'll want to put all that newfound swinging knowledge to good use earning yourself some Pang Points. That's where we get into story mode, letting you take control of one of several characters, each with his or her own motivation for winning the Pangya tournament. These folks range from young and innocent to "is it wrong to think a digital manga chick is hot?" types.

   Each character has various strengths and weaknesses, which can be upgraded and souped up with new clubs, balls, clothes, and caddies from the pro shop. This lends an RPG-type element to the game - at least that's what it feels like to us non-RPG playing gamers, since it gives power up points for strange choices (this hat gives me better spin control? Uhh... ok, if you say so!) and is fun until it suddenly gets boring. The only thing that will keep you coming back is checking out the skimpy new outfits... I mean, the new clubs. Yeah, the clubs. Those are cool. You start with your standard irons and wedges, but you can upgrade to a baseball-bat set or one with maces and other weapons of moderate destruction. They make your guy or gal look a little cooler on the course, but overall don't really add too much in the way of strategy except for maybe some better power on your drives. There's also this weird spinning thing that gives you powerups, but I have yet to figure out how that really works, so I don't think it's that important. At least I hope not. Maybe that's why I lose a lot...

I will CRUSH you!

   So, you've got your character decked out in his or her most golf-(in)appropriate attire. Now you're ready for some competition. And boy, do they compete. Those Tecmo guys must really be avid golfers, because the AI opponents in this game are tough. They're not unbeatable, thank goodness, but learning to send them packing may take you a while. I definitely went through several nights where I'd be up by one stroke on the final hole, shooting for a par or maybe bogey, when the computer dude comes up with a huge drive, an impossible lay-up shot, and a 50-foot birdie to win the game. Thanks, CPU-douche, you just wasted half an hour of my life and I don't even get any Pang Points for the effort. There goes YOUR Christmas present, mister.

   It's also annoying that you have to sit and watch every single part of the AI's shot, from the tedious aiming to the slow and steadied backswing to the looooooooong flight of the ball to the eventual landing. And then it skips forward a few more feet. Then you realize that he didn't outdrive you, so you have to watch another shot. Go grab yourself a cold one: it's gonna be a few minutes.

   If you're a glutton for punishment or a fan of golf (presuming you can tell the difference between the two), the story mode will definitely keep you coming back, as you need to advance in order to unlock all of the characters and caddies. It does lend a bit of replay value to the title, but don't come crying to me when it takes you longer than expected.

Stop playing with yourself!

   When it comes to multiplayer options, once you are done strolling around on your own playing against imaginary opponents, you can bring some friends along for the fun. There aren't any carts here, though, which is too bad, since the multiplayer probably would have benefited from a few golf cart races. What is available are stroke and match modes where you take to the course and, instead of waiting while the slow computer takes its shots, you now wait for your lazy friend to get off the couch and take his shot. But at least you'll be sharing the blandness with others, and isn't that what golf is all about?

   In addition to just betting your way through a normal course, you can play a balloon pop minigame, which is even less enthralling than it sounds. It'll provide some fun for a few hours, but then you'll go back to your bowling or beating the virtual crap out of each other in Wii Sports just to let out your frustrations over the challenging controls of Super Swing.

19th Hole

   Tecmo definitely put a lot of effort into making Super Swing Golf really excel on the Wii. The game looks pretty, and while it's not up to the other guys' "true" next-gen standard, the characters and courses are among the smoothest visuals you'll find on the Wii. And though the jazzy, poppy elevator music (again, fitting for a golf game, don't you think?) gets a little repetitive after a while, it still rounds out a very solid effort on Tecmo's part.

   In the end, it's apparent that the developers really wanted this to be a great game, and in some small aspects, they did a great job. It's not perfect, but if you want some quirky fun, better-than-average golf simulation, and hot manga chicks in glasses and skimpy swimsuits, this game is definitely worth a look.

       ... Darthziggy