The central group of characters is overall a very enjoyable lot to be around for seventy-or-so hours [gosh, that's a lot of love! - ed.] thanks in part to Toriyama's excellent design work and in part to some very solid dialog writing, much of which is brought to life by equally solid voice acting. Past Dragon Quest games have frequently utilized a sort of simplified Middle English dialect for their dialog, but this time they instead opted for a more modern British style. This definitely helps your group stand out from the typical nondescript, plucky youngsters that are normally called upon to save the world from demons, psychopaths, and poor dental hygiene.

   The game also has a really great score performed by, unless my ears deceive me, an actual orchestra. I know my line is typically something like, "Well, the music is good, but it's nothing you'd listen to outside the game. Poopy pants!" but this time the music really is good enough to enjoy on its' own merits. I can't tell you how many times I just sat and listened to the opening crescendo and then launch into the Dragon Quest theme. Seriously, I can't. Court order. But, really, the music does a great job of pulling you into each moment of the game, whether it's trekking through a spooky underground maze or riding a tiger across a sprawling field or bitch-slapping a leather-clad goddess of ... oh wait, that's another game .

Ol' skool throw down.

   So, anyway, you're running around, doing your thing when all of a sudden WHOA! RANDOM ENCOUNTER! When this happens it's time for your characters to line up on one side of the screen, the monsters to line up on the other, and both sides to glare angrily at each other. From here you can select actions for all your conscious characters from a list of RPG staples (Fight, Magic, Special Moves, Defend, Cut the Cheese, etc.) and then everybody takes turns acting depending on their speed stat. Nothing particularly earth-shattering here, although combatants (friend and foe alike) also have the option of using their turn to psych themselves up so that their next action is two, three, or even four times as potent depending on how high they raised tension (God help you if you're on the receiving end of a quadruple psyched up cut the cheese). [Encyclopedia Insanica defines this as the second most horrible way to die. Seeing what happens when you try to lick an alligator from the inside is the first - ed.]

   One good thing about the random encounters is that it seems like the developers really worked out their frequency so that it's not super annoying. Considering how large many of the dungeon areas are, there aren't that many random encounters, so you never really get the feeling that you're going to be assaulted by slavering beasts at every step. However, that said, the encounters did have a tendency to get tedious from time to time due to the fact that their composition was also random. [Hmm. I thought it was due to the fact that they were STILL THERE. But that's just me! - ed.] Because of that, a battle could wind up being against one wimpy little slime, or against seven of the strongest enemies in a given area, thus guaranteeing your guys either a swift trip to the coroners or an extremely tense, prolonged battle where a lot of MP gets expended.

I failed my saving throw against tedium.

   Another somewhat annoying aspect is that many enemies, especially towards the end of the game, utilized moves that would cause the targeted character to miss their next turn with a high degree of success. It isn't considered a status effect so there is no real way to protect against it, and since you're just as likely to run into ten of these guys as you're two of them, it can make for some extremely long, frustrating battles in which round after round goes by where your characters are dancing a fanciful jig instead of beating the tar out of the monsters (seriously, one of these attacks is some kind of a contagious dance. Damn you, Macarena!). I'm guessing the irritation factor of this is somewhat like how Chinese water torture worked, except it seems to break people much more rapidly. Thankfully, if your characters are wiped out by any of these decidedly unpleasant surprises you are returned to your last save point with all gathered items and experience intact. You do lose half the money you have on you, which can be a huge pain, since life ain't nothin' but bitches and money, but it's certainly better than losing everything.

   Love them or hate them, you're going to fight in oodles of random encounters over the course of the game because you'll need every precious experience point if you hope to stay strong enough to keep brutalizing the monsters. Leveling up results in the standard stat boosts but it also nets you several ability points that you can distribute however you see fit amongst your characters' various proficiencies. Most of them are weapon proficiencies, but each character also has some kind of special trait that can be developed as well. [Long distance projectile vomiting comes to mind - ed.] As you put more points into these proficiencies, your characters will gain bonuses when they wield certain weapons or they'll learn special skills particular to said weapons. This helps to make you feel more invested in your characters, as it gives you a little control over the way they develop.

A relaxed-fit game.

   When it comes right down to it, Dragon Quest VIII is a pretty solid game because it's not afraid to keep things familiar. The characters are all stock-types and the quest is something you've likely scene a dozen times, but it all feels comfortable in its familiarity. You don't spend hours wondering what the hell is going on, nor do you feel compelled to rush rapidly through the game to discover how the plot plays out. It feels good to just sit back, relax, and let things be revealed when they're ready to be. The battle system is basic enough that you'll pretty much have it mastered after the second on third encounter. Since there's nothing particularly wrong with the game (the occasional frustrating random encounter aside) it serves as a reminder of why so many consider those old games that played similarly "classics," and why they still sell for a bajillion dollars on e-Bay. Sure, there aren't any moments where you feel awed by what you're participating in (except when you equip Jessica with the Magic Bikini. That bikini sure is magic... ON MY PANTS!!! ...sorry!), but you won't likely ever feel bored either. Every RPG fan should at least give this one a look. If it turns out to be up your alley, then you're in for a long, satisfying adventure.

       ... Mike Zeller