One button is a light attack, one is strong, another grabs, and light and strong together do a more powerful attack. But a number of other options are available to you on top of this. For one thing, grabbing allows you to just continue beating someone while you hold on to them (just like in high school), or you can go into a powerful combo, or you can toss them into something (a window, other people), or, if you're situated correctly, you can (tada!) bash their heads into a wall. Plus, just about everything in the environment can be picked up and used as a weapon. There are bats, hammers, knives and the like, but it's also pretty fun to wail on somebody with a bong or some hard salami. Sometimes a move will change based on the weapon you're holding: for instance, grabbing someone and attacking them while holding a knife gives you a nice, satisfying stab to the belly. Mmm, good!

   Even though there is a surprising amount of variety to the fighting, I must admit to falling into a routine (I rely heavily on the grab n' combo method) for the most part. Regardless, just like a good beat-'em-up should, the game somehow manages to stay entertaining and when less common moves show up (like team-up attacks), they're all the more awesome. I personally never get tired of doing a running cross body attack on a group of thugs either.

   Lastly, you have some degree of control over what the other members of your gang are doing. A simple button press and tilt with the right analog stick in the proper direction allows you to order the Warriors to either follow you, fight, split up, break stuff, wait, or cover your back. This all works surprisingly well and I don't believe I've ever seen a Warrior get caught on something while trying to get to where I was.

Violence isn't always the answer!

   Sometimes its younger siblings, robbery and vandalism are the order of the day! To that end, the beating is broken up by a number of different minigame-type affairs. In any given level, you have various opportunities available to you to make money, which is used to buy flash (drugs with a funny name and this game's health pack equivalent), spray paint, or knives.

   You can steal car radios (remember that childhood favorite?), which is done by bashing in the car's window, hitting the action button, and then rotating the analog stick counter-clockwise to unscrew the radio. You can also break into stores and grab all the loot inside by picking the lock, which is done with a minigame in which you have to stop three rotating tumblers at a specific point. Lastly, there's mugging. You can grab most any sucka (or suckette), hit the action button, and then play a little "find the vibration" game where you move the analog stick about until you feel some shakin' in your 'troller, which causes a bar to fill up. As long as your bar fills up before the sucka's resistance bar does, you get some cash out of them. Hello Metal Gear Solid.

   Other minigames present themselves when the police are involved. Resisting an arrest is the opposite of mugging, as you do your best to avoid the vibration (Marky Mark would not approve). Freeing a handcuffed warrior is done by quickly alternating the shoulder buttons. Most missions also come with the bonus objective of spray painting (accomplished with a simple line-tracing game) over the tags of whatever rival gang's territory you happen to be in. Also, various little bonus missions open up on your gang's turf as you progress. They're usually pretty easy and unlock helpful things in the main game. However, some people might feel like this is just busywork, so it's a good thing it's optional stuff.

   These little side distractions are, all in all, a nice change of pace and it's easy to get the hang of them after a few times. One minor complaint is that all of the Warriors have different stats (which can be checked in the pause screen). For example, some are better fighters but worse lock-pickers. Certainly, they shouldn't all play exactly the same but you don't get to choose who you're playing with from level to level: you're always automatically assigned two characters. To some degree, you can play to your current warrior's strengths, using a muscle character to mug rather than steal radios or jack stores. The downside to this, however, is that you can always expect more money from a store looting and a car radio always nets you fifteen bucks; mugging, on the other hand, is a crapshoot. Similarly, spray painting is something very few of the Warriors are particularly good at and if you're the type who wants to complete all the bonus objectives, being forced to complete it with an inept character is just a bit more annoying. Of course, if you're playing co-op mode, you can elect to have each player take on the tasks more suited to their character. Did I say co-op mode?! I DID!

It's more fun to do horrible things to people with a friend.

   The two-player co-op mode is fairly well done. However, it's more just like two people who happen to be playing in the same area at the same time. It's very rare you'll actually have to be conversing with your partner (I recommend you do anyway though because being openly communicative is important in a relationship) and working together. Rather, you're more likely to split up and complete objectives at your own pace. This works out fine because the game transitions to and from split-screen accordingly. One thing that's a bit shoddy about this is that player one is the only one able to issue to commands to the other gang members so if player two goes off on his own, he's, well, on his own. But, hey, that's his decision, man.

   One thing that is unfortunate is that the likelihood of slowdown increases greatly in two-player mode. When the screen is split and you're both in the middle of a huge fight, slowdown can be a problem. I didn't notice it early in the game but as my friend and I progressed it tended to happen more frequently.

   In the end, if you're looking for a buddy-buddy, let's work together with talking type of co-op game, this isn't it, though it's still totally worth playing with a friend. Plus, if you're a bastard (like my friend and I both are), you can start fights with each other and make the game more of a pain in the ass for yourselves! You want some real fun? - try mugging your friend. Hee hee!

70's NYC was brimming with ugly mother-dudes.

   So the gameplay is pretty tight but how's that shizz look? Eh, not so great. Rockstar games have a lot going on at once so they don't tend to be particularly attractive and The Warriors is no exception, especially considering how massive the on-screen brawls can get.

   You can see that the faces of the various main characters have been recreated as best as possible, but the models are still rather blocky. In general, the game's colors are kind of drab. As I said, it's very faithful to the film but where this backfires somewhat is with the setting. Sure, I see the various landmarks to let me know I'm in Coney Island and I guess 70's NYC was supposed to be "gritty" but, overall, these countless dark, dirty-looking alleyways just make me think "ghetto" and "not great graphics" rather than "70's NYC." I played it on the PS2 and I imagine it looks a bit better on the XBox but probably not hugely. Again, with the number of bodies onscreen at a time, this is sort of excusable. But hey, I still got a kick out of the water-color painting look the sky has to it!

*@^$*!!!

   The audio is both really good and really annoying at the same time. Now hold your bitchslaps and let me explain. The music is great because Rockstar basically lifted the whole soundtrack from the movie and put it in. It ramps up in accordance with the on-screen action and dies down when nothing is going on. It's cheesy 70's stuff, but in some weird way, it fits... Wait, I know, could it be because the game is based on a 70's movie!?

   The voice acting is almost perfect too because many of the actors came back to reprise their roles from the film and, in the case that someone wasn't available (read: dead) a proficient sound-alike is in place. The DJ (the chief from the Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? TV series...no really) died a few years ago yet I totally thought the voice in the game was her till I looked it up. Plus, I just recently re-watched the film and, to be honest, I don't know if age (or a completely different person) just added more color and experience to these guys' voices but I think in some cases some of them pull off better performances than they did in the movie. One thing that's odd, though, is that all of your Warriors have the same exact grunts and groans when they attack and get hurt. What, they couldn't get them all to record individual ones? Also, the guy who played Luther in the film is alive and well but didn't reprise his role here. What the hell? I mean, what, like he's that busy? Unfortunately, his sound-alike is probably the lamest one. He's not horrible, but he's clearly not the same person. This is a shame because Luther is the guy who says the film's most famous line, "Warriors, come out to play!" (changed from the original cut's much less popular "Warriors, come out to eat a knuckle sandwich!"). Oh, well!

   Those relatively minor complaints aside, there is only one major issue with the voice acting (this is where the "really annoying" part comes in!), which is how much of it there is going on at the same damn time. This is a Rockstar game so there's people all over the streets rambling and cursing (oh so much cursing!) and whenever a fight breaks out, it gets all the more cacophonic. The voices are real good and there are some nice touches (try stealing Cowboy's hat from him) but when it all runs together, it's kind of pointless. This is especially a problem in co-op mode when the screen splits and you hear the sound from both sides. During a fight, this results in an absolute onslaught of obscenities and screaming. You eventually just learn to ignore it, but it's kind of ridiculous.

Who let the GLOOPS out?!!

   Sound effects are all well and good. It's a noisy game; lots of glass breaking, burglar alarms going off, and thuds of people getting whacked with objects. My only problem with the sound is the background dog bark noise.

   In any given part in the game where things have quieted down a bit, you'll almost definitely hear a dog in the background barking and barking and barking...and barking. It's sort of a weird bark too. It sounds like the dog is saying "GLOOP!" repeatedly. Sometimes you hear it in the middle of in-game cinemas! Honestly, it's so pervasive I question why I haven't seen anyone else mention it. I dunno, maybe I'm the crazy one. Stupid gloop dog!

Can you dig etc.?

   So Rockstar took a break from upsetting parents with their gangster simulation and... came out with this gangster simulation based on a 70's cult film! Kudos to Rockstar for breaking new ground! Seriously speaking, oddly enough, this is exactly what they did.

   Just like with Grand Theft Auto and action-adventure games, Rockstar has basically re-imagined a genre with The Warriors. This time it's the beat-'em-up. The beat-'em-up hasn't been done successfully in 3D before and this is a damn fine effort, not to mention an awesome use of a movie license. JUH?!

   If you don't mind somewhat repetitive gameplay and aren't offended by rampant cursing and the ability to beat not just gang members but also innocent women and men until they vomit (oh, Rockstar, you and that envelope pushing of yours!), this is a fun game to pick up. If you're interested in completing everything there is to do, it'll also take you a good bit of time.

   My primary complaints are that, one, the game is not particularly challenging even on the hardest difficulty setting and, two, now that I've done everything, I have no real need or reason to ever pick up the game again. I've exhausted the main game, and although a number of multiplayer modes are unlocked as you play, they're either unspectacular or are simply some variation on a vs. fighting mode and the game's engine (just like an old beat-'em-up) isn't truly suited to two-player vs. brawling.

   Still, if you like the movie or are a fan of old-school beat-'em-ups, you can't go wrong with this game. You can even unlock a re-creation of a Double Dragon-esque side-scrolling minigame! How cool is that!? %$*#ING COOL, THAT'S HOW, SUCKA!!!

       ... Joe Matar