You, yes you, are a Native American body builder with some arrows, an astigmatism and about 20 seconds to live. Turok: Dinosaur Hunter, the first FPS for the N64, was a smash when it was released in 1997, and with good reason. Here were big environments that you could run around in like a rabid wolverine. You roam at will, encounter charming locals, and kill them in colorful ways. It was like Dark Mario. Enemies screamed, clutched something relatively near where you shot them, and died in a pool of their own blood. This was heady stuff back in the day. Nowadays the game seems archaically quaint, but give it another try. Turok has a lot of cool stuff in it that todays programmers would be wise to steal. Pardon me - emulate. Classics are called that because of their longevity. If you have sworn off the franchise after the sorry, sorrier and sorriest sequels, go back in time, blow $4.99 at Gamestop, and see what the fuss was all about.
And featuring James Bond as Yoshi. At its most basic, Turok was a cross between Super Mario 64 and Goldeneye. (The former released 5 months before, the latter 6 months after.) Hop around from pillar to pillar like Mario, shoot the squareheaded guards like Goldeneye. But Turok was a technical advance on both of these games. In Goldeneye guards just stand there - even after you blow away the guy right next to them. In Turok the enemies often run right at you in spazzoid bonzai charges. Sometimes, and this was drooly stuff back in 1997, more than one bad guy at a time! Turok also features the spinning widget feature, which is now Universal in gaming. Anything you need - weapons, health, ammo, a clean loincloth, the key to Adon's titanium bra (oh wait, that was the sequel) will be spinning slowly on the ground. If it rotates go pick it up - you probably need it. Even things that are hidden behind bushes will be spinning so you can find them, which doesn't make any sense, now that I think about it. At the time of release though the wildest feature was the new method of movement. Instead of the central wigglestick for direction you move your little muscle-bound Indian via the yellow 'C' buttons. Up for forward, down for back and so on. Sound familiar? Yep, its the patented Resident Evil "Human Tank" set up. The difference though is that RE tried to do that with a third-person perspective on static backgrounds, and failed (or should I say 'flailed') miserably. With Turok you are first person in a true 3D environment, and it works smoothly and efficently. Or, switch to Left Hand mode and do it on the gray D pad over on the other side. Oooo-Aaaaah......!
New, Cool-Ranch flavored Turok.
Turok was a new game on a new system in a new dimension. This means that some 2D features were still present. Extra lives are awarded not through experience, or areas cleared but rather through picking up lines of golden triangles scattered about. (A concept copped straight from Pac-Man.) Not surprisingly, given the eternal munchies that most gamers experience, these became known as the "Sacred Doritos". Here's a tip: after buying Turok at your nearest bargain bin, use the change from your $10.00 to buy some Doritos. Just have 'em ready, because the craving WILL arise as you play. 100 Doritos and Turok gains a life. And you gain another pound. You'll know you have filled your Dorito bag when a 5 second cut scene plays where you flex, sneer and utter your one complete sentence; "I. Feel. Pretty." No. Wait. That was in Mary-Kate and Ashley: Sweet 16. Always get them confused......you say "I. Am. Turok." With a voice like James Earl Jones with a bladder infection.
Maps you aim through. Oh, I can see where that would.....HUH? Not every innovation worked, of course. That's the price you pay for imagination. Some of Turok's features entirely failed to stick to the wall. There IS an on screen aiming point available, and would be very handy in a game where you are constantly trying to bring down banzai charging mercenaries in a close environment with no reserve of ammunition. But the only way to bring the cursor up on the screen is to enable the map. This simultaneously shows you where you are on the map and allows you to shoot more accurately. That's the idea anyway. The reality is that the map is six times as bright as the action behind it, meaning that if you bring the aiming cursor up, you can't see the bad guys that are right in front of you. Trust me: leave the map off and just back up slowly until the dinosaur is coming straight at you - that's where the aim point is. Then unload with whichever one of your Big !@#$%& Guns is the !@#$%& biggest.
More fear than a Pauly Shore Movie, more fog than a Queen concert. Standard FPS rules apply: the areas get tougher, you get more hit points. The monsters get bigger, your big !@#$ing guns get !@#$ing bigger. Each area is slightly different from the last: #3 is a city in ruins, #4 is catacombs, #5 is a treetop village of wooden bridges. But each is laid out extremely well and offers a good mix of fighting, platform jumping and simple puzzles to solve. And dying of course. You'll do a lot of that. You'll be gobbling every Dorito you can find - and you'll need the max of ten lives for the epic final Boss. What is consistent throughout is that feeling of Fear that is so missing in this age of graphical eye candy. Every step you take could reveal a sniper hiding in the ever-present fog. Every step could lead you into a gory boobie trap. Every step could have you plummeting off some Wile E. Coyote rated precipice. Every step could have a T-Rex materializing behind you. Dread, horror, and eventually outright panic await all who dare enter the Lost Land. You'll love the Rocket-launching Triceratops. You'll hate the yard long mosquitos. You'll never get tired of the blubbering yells of the bad guys as you pour explosive shotgun shells into them. Dead? Maybe. But throw another grenade at the corpse to see it flail and yell one more time. Encore kills - gotta love 'em. Almost as narley as the head shot baddie with the spurting blood jetting out from his ear. (Your choice of blood color, too.) Mostly though you'll savor a real challenge in a video game. Devious enemies, few save points, First person platform jumping (always a hoot), and boss battles that'll have you filling your pants in no time. This is no wussy, watered-down fun time game for every demographic. This is primeval, no respite, kill or be killed. So go get Turok for $4.99, plug in the fog machine, and open up the Doritos. It's dinosaur huntin' time.
P.S. and if it gets too hard, just type in NTHGTHDGDCRTDTRK. You'll thank me later. (wimp!)