Twisted Metal: Head-On for the PSP packs all the pain of its console cousins into a convenient man-purse size edition. For those of you unfamiliar with the Twisted Metal Franchise, here is a brief explanation: Cars, guns, BOOM!

   Basically a fighting game on wheels, Head-On lets you choose from 10 (though 8 more are un-lockable) bizarre and twisted (pun intended) vehicles. Once you've chosen your chariot of destruction, you're thrown into the middle of an exotic locale with all the weaponry needed to send your opponents to the nearest Earl Scheib for some serious bodywork. The shallow single player experience gives you the choice of playing in Story, Endurance, or Challenge modes, which should be familiar to fighting game vets. Once up and rolling, you'll almost feel guilty careening through the game and raining death down on cars too pretty to be blown up.

   Head-On is the "Pimp My Ride" of vehicular debauchery. Characters range from the motorcycle riding, flaming skull tossing, no skin having, "Mr. Grimm" to everyone's favorite satanic ice cream truck driver, Needles Kane a.k.a. "Sweet Tooth." Satanic ice cream truck driver? What in the blue hell are we teaching the children! But I digress... The "storyline" (if it can really be called that) revolves around a character named "Calypso" holding a no holds barred, fully armed, demolition derby deathmatch with the survivor being granted a single magical wish. High concept stuff here folks, it's damn near Shakespearean I tell you. The irony is that upon completion of the game, you'll find that the old adage, "be careful what you wish for" rings all too true for the cast of 'Metal. However screwed up your character of choice was before beating the game, his "wish" does little to improve his situation, and in fact even makes it worse in various cruel and perverse (yet surprisingly fun) ways.

Trigger Happiness

   To aid you in your quest for victory, all cars come standard with a perfunctory machine gun that while prone to overheating, offers unlimited ammo. Missiles in varying forms (homing, fire, & power) are scattered throughout the maps in limited supply. Other goodie stashes can be found containing (but not limited to) napalm, ricochet, and remotely detonated explosives. Character specific special moves are also available in a limited (though regenerative) supply.

   Energy attacks (a la Mortal Kombat style button tapping) play an important role in the gameplay and include freeze attack, mines, and a temporary shield. While all energy attacks have their place, the most useful is the freeze attack, which can be launched by tapping up, down, up. This attack launches a homing, freezing ball of goodness at your target that renders them more impotent than Hugh Hefner without his Viagra. The rest of the energy attack commands can be found by breaking out the old Ouija board and trying to contact the spirits, or I guess if you wanted to save some time you could just look in the manual...

   While it's fun blowing the hell out of your opponents, Head-On also features semi-destructible environments that significantly boost the fun factor. Not a fan of the Eiffel Tower? A couple of well placed power missiles and, Sacre bleu! Ou est La Tour Eiffel?

Be honest, is it pretty?

   The graphics in Head-On are PS2 quality featuring smooth frame-rate, no noticeable slowdown, and some sick (in a good way) cut scenes. One of the most appealing factors of the Twisted Metal games has always been the chance to travel to, and careen through, fun and exotic locales. Head-On continues that tradition, as you'll visit France, Rome, Russia and other unique travel destinations. Though you won't get the same squishy feeling blowing the hell out of the Eiffel Tower on a 4.3-inch screen as you might have in previous 'Metal games, we're not complaining as at least we still get to digitally screw with the French.

   The PSP has earned the reputation of being a graphical powerhouse, and Head-On certainly gives the system a chance to shine. The tiny system pumps the pixels and gives us some pint-sized details. Example? There is a band playing in the Big Blue Stadium map that features individual musicians wailing on distinct and unique instruments all in relative scale to their surroundings. Sadly no, they do not play Freebird. The soundtrack offered throughout the game is your usual "get pumped up enough to go kill stuff" experience... Would it kill game designers to throw in a little Mozart every once in a while?

   While on an aural kick (note: aural, not oral) the sound effects are (to quote the immortal Napoleon Dynamite) flippin' sweet. From Sweet Tooth's cackle (which is keeping me up nights and I'm sure will be the cause of future therapy sessions) to the many unique weapon sounds and engine rumbles, the game sounds great.

   Attention to detail continues as vehicles show visible damage as they take hits and get knocked around throughout the course of a deathmatch.

   Clipping (which was a problem in some of the previous Twisted Metal Games) seldom rears its ugly head in Head-On, nor do any other serious glitches such as pixelation or camera issues. In other words... Yes, it's pretty.

How does this baby handle?

   Control? While the PSP itself is a bit awkward for large handed (that's right ladies) knuckle dragging reviewers like me, the game allows you the choice of the teensy-weensy analog stick, or the old school D-pad to control movement. The shoulder buttons handle the task of machine gunning and projectile weapon launching nicely. The X, O, Triangle and Square buttons are mapped to handle jumping, turbo boosting, weapon cycling and braking which they do in a comfortable and intuitive manner. In terms of control, if you are familiar with the previous games, you'll jump right in here.

Other things to do on the internet besides look at porn...

   God bless wi-fi. Head-On floors it onto the information superhighway going from 0-to-deathmatch in 3.5 seconds. Its lobby system makes it extremely easy to jump into a game and start making newbs cry. Even while at the 6-person maximum, Head-On ran smoothly with no lag, or connection interruption. Playing online is a quick and painless experience that definitely boosts the game's replay quotient. The noticeable omission from a thoroughly enjoyable online experience however is the smack talk factor. Though you are given a brief timeout between maps to brag or bag, cycling through a letter list with the tiny PSP control buttons is a chore. Note to Sony: Release a friggin' keyboard already!

Has this ride been pimped?

   Head-On is a strong launch title that will surely quench the thirst of the kill ‘em all crowd…at least for an afternoon. If you want a fun, shallow, and mindless shooter, pick up Head-On. If you’re looking for a deep introspective experience, we suggest you contact your local yoga studio.

       ... Sicshot

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