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Kingdom Hearts

2003-12-05

Grade:  9.1

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Kingdom Hearts screenshots:

Kingdom Hearts screenshot 
pappy

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siesta

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fatty

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hunting for carpet

Kingdom Hearts screenshot 
and I am fat too

Kingdom Hearts screenshot 
disney pirates


Kingdom Hearts screenshot 
nice cape

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more smacking

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view from below

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robinson cruisin

Kingdom Hearts screenshot 
i dream of tinkerbell

Kingdom Hearts screenshot 
sunset scene 4 kids

Kingdom Hearts screenshot 
tarzan!

Kingdom Hearts screenshot 
u r ON MY DRESS!

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whoopass

Kingdom Hearts screenshot 
its a sword I say

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drool interest

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sizable differences

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you go girl

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a bit of smAshing

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look eye always look eye

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greener pastures

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a little cgi

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texas holdem anyone

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the burning bush

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the three goofyteers

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dancing on tables

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key to the castle


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Immerse yourself...

   "Help!"

   That unmistakable duck squeal; flashes of Disney Afternoon (tm) rip into the mind and depart just as swiftly. Donald! With a fierce swoop Sora whips around, and sure enough: 3 dark ones rising straight out of the ground. What are these strange creatures (and how does the mind even manage to form a question at a time like this?!)? But the body already races ahead, they are a little far, but that's no problem: knees bend of their own accord, the torso twists down to the right and then "wham!" unwinds like a huge steel spring. It's the "Vortex": and Sora bounces to his target like a bolt of lightning, the great key in his hand slicing deep across the 3 phantom bodies with a satisfying thud. The dark line trembles, a spark from Donald's rod sends one creature exploding in a cloud of bitter, purple smoke. An overhead crush finishes another, and with his peripheral vision Sora registers two droopy ears in a circle of steel; it's Goofy, slicing away with his battle shield. For a second all is quiet, then, from behind, comes a sudden and menacing "pop", and before he can turn, Sora is hit hard in the back, falling forward onto his hands and knees. "Knee pads next time you are shopping," registers the mind coolly, and scrambling to his knees Sora finally manages to face the enemy: it's a wall, it's a ball, it's a huge stomach! He jumps forward and lands a powerful shot; boing! he is thrown back as if he ran head first into a huge drum (or did he?!), he is down again, elbow pads being added to his shopping list this time. Two small angry eyes up there spark with fire, the fat man rears up, what is he up to, whoa! a quick roll makes the difference between Sora and Sora pot roast! Another roll, and hey, look at this! - the giant's back is exposed, a backhanded slice, yes! The fearsome fire-breather tips over and falls forward, now you are mine! Not a second to lose: a magnificent jump and off goes the aerial combo, wham! Wham! WHAM! A timely zap from the magic support team and the mountainous bosom explodes with a loud boom, sending coins flying everywhere.

    Such (give or take a superlative) is the bulk of the experience that is Kingdom Hearts. Would you like to hear the tale? Please, please, come closer!

   Stop! This is no ordinary game! It once changed the course of a young boy's life...

His name was Sora, he was a small boy...

   Well, no that small. Twelve, thirteen years old, maybe? And already the main character of a great video game - no small feat. Send him to our schools to give speeches to the kids - let them have a role model they can relate to.

   Ahem. Pardon that little slip up, must have been something in the cereal this morning. Let's concentrate.

   And so, yes, the main character of Kingdom Hearts is a boy named Sora, a boy clearly from the good old land of Final Fantasy - just look at his hair, and besides - it's not even 5 minutes into the game and he is having one of those trademark FF dreams already. Sora lives on an island with some of his similarly well-drawn friends; they eat tropical fruit, run around in the sand, fight with wooden swords over the attentions of Kairi (the girl) and generally have a mighty good time.

   Of course, they also want to see the world. Famous last words. Silly children.

   In their defense, I must admit that "the world" in Kingdom Hearts is a damn awesome place, and is really better referred to as a universe composed of worlds - each one a distinct, recognizable Disney location, teeming with your favorite Disney characters. You will see Agrabah, Wonderland, and many other spots; there will be more of them than you think, you won't know what they are until you get there, and I can guarantee at least one "oh, cool!" squeal on your behalf unless you are 300-pound football player dude (not that there is anything wrong with that!) and just not physically capable of a squeal at all. And if there is a Disney film that god forbid didn't make it into a world of it's own, that's what cameo appearances are for. Lots of cameo appearances. It's all in there.

   Not that, you understand, Final Fantasy got second hand treatment. There are as many big swords, outrageous hairdos and fantastical costumes we all know and love in there as you are likely hoping; Squall, Cloud, Rikku, Wakka, the whole boatload of them, and one is even voiced by David Boreanaz from WB11's "Angel", though that's probably more detail than you wanted to know.

   In short, my fellow button-pushers, the world of Kingdom Hearts is one freaking exciting place to be in.

10-trillion-piece 3D puzzle. Get going, and good luck to you, soldier.

   The story, as most of the other game dynamics, follows the common pattern of the Final Fantasy franchise - it's a jigsaw puzzle model, where you see bits and pieces here and there, and the pieces look gooood, and it's all sort of making sense, but not really, and then at the end it finally all comes together in a grand, self-explaining, jaw-dropping, breathtaking spicy chicken combo type thingy. Do you like that kind of dish? That's for you to answer - but the general premise is (as usual) quite simple - a mysterious force of creatures called "The Heartless" is swarming across the lands, vanquishing entire worlds through some dark means. Where they come from and how did they get here? Who is the big daddy behind the operation? You will find out in time, but you can be sure that a large enough crew of your favorite Disney villains is financing the operation, and there is deception, backstabbing, double-crossing and all that other juicy stuff - plenty.

   Structurally, the story is made of up chapters each of which maps to an experience in a single Disney world. So there is an "Aladdin" chapter and a "Hercules" chapter, yet they all fold neatly into the confines of the main story, and you are even given a surprisingly high level of control (kudos!) in terms of what chapter happens next. This simple method mostly works and results in a largely believable story flow, even though a few of the chapters are invariably taken straight out of the corresponding Disney film with too little modification and just fitted to the plot. Still, even that does little to take away from the experience, because...

The fighting is just so much fun!

   If somehow the stunning opening paragraph didn't get through to you - let me put it plainly: the fighting kicks ass. It's fast, it's glorious, it's gratifying. Period.

   The mechanics of it add up, once again, to a modified Final Fantasy system, tipped more towards the action side of things. On one side there is a magic system and a summon system, which are straight out of FF, adapted (with some degree of success) to a real-time combat scenario. The good part of this, of course, is that "you've got some power in your corner now" in the form of the all-powerful Genie, among others (after you complete a certain portion of the game, of course). The not so good part is that navigating through menus in a highly fast-paced battle can be tricky, and more than once my decision to reach into my magic bag cost me my life - which, if you are fighting a boss, means you are dropping back a step and watching that (no doubt beautiful) cut scene all over again (and no, you can't skip). Thankfully, your loyal computer controlled companions (a.k.a. Donald and Goofy) do quite well on the magic front, especially if you keep them stocked with appropriate items (they will even heal you right when you need it most), and it's entirely possible to leave that part completely up to them. Which I wholeheartedly recommend - it will be less frustrating and more effective for you, both in the short and in the long run.

   The second side of it, is of course, the weapon system. Your main weapon at most times will be some sort of a key (which is a bit of an odd choice, surely, but it fits into the story), augmented with a slew of modifier items and enabled with various move combos. You can pick and choose the combos you have enabled based on a number of Ability Points you have available; those, in turn, increase as you level up and equip certain specialized items. This system easily adapts to your particular style of ass-kicking and overall left quite a pleasant taste in my mouth and a satisfying buzz in my hands. There are only two things that can weigh in negatively on the combat experience. One is that sometimes the bosses are just too damn hard. This is largely the result of the fact that you are given freedom in selecting which world you will go to next, and sometimes you will invariably pick one that's a little too tough for you at that point. However, overall I felt it was a worthy trade off (it really does feel good to be in control of the story), so no more picking on that one. The second thing is that the camera in Kingdom Hearts can be a very bad girl. It doesn't always follow you quite the way you'd like, and most importantly, manages to totally misrepresent distances rather often - which costs you dearly when it comes to platforming elements, of which there are plenty, both during battles and otherwise. Still, the good grossly outweighs the bad, and in the end, Kingdom Hearts delivers the most fun and engaging combat experience in recent memory (5-7 business days :))

Square finally produces ugly graphics

   Umm, NOT! The game, of course, looks absolutely marvelous. It's all the beauty of the FF series, plugged into the amazing and imaginative art talent that is Disney. It's vibrant, it's outrageous, it's just plain gorgeous - there is little else to declare about it. The fact that each Disney world brings a very distinctive setting with it, results in locations that truly feel like a different part of the game, which continually re-enforces your sense of visual satisfaction (not that it's needed). Square alone had more people working on this game than on any individual Final Fantasy title, and it shows - this is Playstation 2's prime grade eye candy.

Play this, people.

   Kingdom Hearts is really a terrific game, if there ever was one. Being what is, it is obviously a bit slanted towards kids, but the gameplay is so solid and fun that anyone letting that be the excuse for leaving this awesome piece of gaming on the shelf would be doing themselves a poor favor. This is one great action-RPG, the kind that instantly sparks an excited conversation with complete strangers at your local game store and is definitely worth a week or two of your lunch money. Enjoy it thoroughly, and don't forget to sleep. Amen.


       ... Vaga

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. Summary: An awesome RPG, with great action and combat, all the Final Fantasy and Disney cameo appearances you ever wanted, beautiful graphics, strong story and... and... well, frankly, it's just ALL THAT.

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Systems: PS2

Genre: Action RPG

Setting: A mix of Final Fantasy and Disney worlds.

Mood: Fun, cartoony, explorative.

Story: Very good

Graphics: Final Fantasy and Disney-like.

Music/Sound: Good

Voice Acting: Excellent.

Script/Dialog: Great

Similar Games: Final Fantasy, except the action is real-time and the story is actually easy to follow :)

Gameplay: Imagine playing Final Fantasy in a Disney universe, in a faster-paced, more-real time environment.

Strengths: Graphics, combat, story, Disney and FF references.

Weaknesses: None serious; some camera trouble; room design is sometimes a tad repetitive.

Depth: Good

Length: 60+ hours.

Pace: Fast

Difficulty: Easy

Control: Good, though hindered by the camera when it comes to platforming elements.

Learning Curve: Short

Replayability: Medium

Will keep you up until (a.k.a Fun Factor): 3:00 am

Notable Features: A staggering amount of cameo appearances.

Fav. Character: Jafar. That sonuvabitch is just all personality.

Instant Classic: Yes

Publisher: SCEA

Developer: Cattle Call

Release Date: 2002-09-16

Players: 1

Multiplayer: No

ESRB: Teen

Target Audience: Square and Disney fans; RPG lovers open-minded enough not to be discouraged by the Disney logo.

Recommended For: Everyone who loves fun action-adventure and has at least a bit of affection for either Square, Disney, or both. Everyone who has ever wanted to run through Agrabah or needs something to do while Square takes their pretty little time to get the next FF game out.

Not Recommended for: People who prefer strictly adult-themed games or just can't stand anything in the least bit cartoony. Disney haters.



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