…and other non-alliterative nonsense.

The Beatles: Rock Band finally has a release date - 09/09/09. Clever, right? (Sorry, number tricks amuse me, and those who take advantage of them are automatically at least a little bit cool in my book.)

According to 1up.com, the game will be released for a full-price $59.99 retail for the disc only. But why would you just want the disc, when you could spend half your paycheck on the entire band bundle - complete with peripherals modeled after the Fab Four’s actual instruments!

That’s right, for the low low (read: in-frickin-sane) price of $249.99 (!!!), you too can pretend that you’re even remotely cool enough to play like the Beatles. Start saving now - 6 months to go!

You can also visit The Beatles: Rock Band official site, where you can enter your e-mail address to be notified when EA and Harmonix will start sucking your money away (aka when pre-ordering begins).

Left 4 Dead has been given one of the finest forms of flattery that American culture can bestow upon a work. Following in the tradition of Saving Ryan’s Privates and Free Your Willy, we now have Left 4 Head. Yes, you read that right.

Zoey, seen here fully clothed.

Don’t believe me? Check out Kif’s Blog (via Wired.com of all places, thanks guys!) for a full, umm, review of DIY porno at its finest. Any other games/series you’d want to see get the XXX treatment?

Gosh, is it time for another angry gamer rant already?! Well, you asked, and so it hath been delivered: a thoroughly bitter look at the top 5 games that have ruined gaming for the truly hardcore or, more accurately, for those who were into gaming before gaming became the hideous beast of mass popularity that it is today.

Join Eric Venezia as he takes a closer look at the 5 culprits (all of whom you most surely know, and quite possibly love!), and spells out the exact nature of their would-be crimes against us game geeks.

Here is the link to the full article.

By now most of you have heard of the Large Hadron Collider currently working at CERN over in Europe to either: A) Find a “god” particle, B) End the world, or C) Something in between that’s equally as important scientifically. Depends on who you ask, I guess.

Anyway, the point is that the good folks over there seem to have great humor in the face of pending success/doom, as several clever staffers realized that one among their ranks looked a lot like Gordon Freeman from the Half-Life series. Now the folks over at 1up.com have shared links to plenty of pictures of the scientists taking this joke to its extreme, having “Gordon” equip his hardhat and crowbar to take care of a minor headcrab infestation that seems to have affected the lab.

The pics are pretty funny, and it’s good to see that the guys and gals over at CERN aren’t all work and no play. No word yet on whether anyone sports this t-shirt to work, though.

See kids, this is what happens when God sniffs too much rubber cement before going out and doing his work. This makes me think of so many completely weird and different things at the same time that I am at a total loss for where to even begin. I feel like it’s the attack of the butt-raping lunch-boxes or something. It’s like attaching training wheels to the genitals of pre-pubescent boys. I don’t know what to laugh at more, the sheer existence of this, the fact that it’s gracing the Wii, our most “family-friendly” console, or the fact that it’s being sold to us by Amazon. Seriously, I think I can totally forego my crack this week and survive solely by laughing my ass off at this thing.

More (or less, depending on your point of view) over at Kotaku. The Wii Fit screenshot will have have you in a fit alright.

p.s. This still doesn’t make up for all the Wii shovelware, Nintendo. But it’s touching to see you try.

For a game just barely two weeks past its release date, Blitz II sure seems like it’s not getting much respect. Whether or not it deserved that respect, I have no idea. 1up gave it a B, while it earned a measly 5.5 score on IGN.

Compounding that now is the fact that the game, which initially retailed for $60 like most new releases, has gone to $50 on BestBuy.com, and $40 in Walmart stores. Two weeks past release date! Twilight Princess, Halo 3, and Heavenly Sword (granted, much better and different games) are all still at their highest price points ($50, $60, and $60 respectively), with TP and HS being out nearly two years!

So, from my considerably nonsensical and uninformed point of view, I would recommend that you steer clear of Blitz II. But if anyone has info to the contrary, or just a comment about the game in general, please drop us a line!

An open letter to Nintendo, those who make Nintendo Wii games, and those who review Nintendo Wii games:

Intuitive adj.: definition - instinctive
SYNONYMS: automatic, direct, emotional, habitual, immediate, inherent, innate, instinctual, involuntary, natural, perceptive, spontaneous, understood, unreflecting, untaught, visceral

Antonyms: calculated, meditated, reasoned, taught

To members of the parties listed above, please please please start using different words! Make up some words if you have to - it’s funtacular! (See, I just did it there.)

Thank you.

Your (still) humble servant consumer,

Darthziggy

(Thanks to Thesaurus.com for the assistance.)

Looking forward to Nintendo’s Wii Music? You’d better have some forgiving friends who enjoy a good laugh. The game will make you look like a fool.

At least the first few times around. I had a chance to play the game a bit today, and it’s a bit weird at first to get used to “playing” an instrument with just the Wii remote (and nunchuck in some cases). Coming from the school of Guitar Hero and Rock Band, it’s difficult not actually having a guitar in your hand or a drum set in front of you while you’re trying to hold a beat, but it does seem like there is plenty of room for fun and improvement.

While it’s true that you can’t technically “fail” a song like in the other rhythm games, you are scored on your performance, Wii Fit and Wii Sports style out of 100 points. The closer you are to staying on tune, the better your score, and the more songs and instruments you can unlock.

My first time through - in a tandem conducting performance - didn’t go so well, as neither one of us knew the song very well (we were given a sync score of 0%). But later on when I went back on my own, I got the chance to conduct a virtual orchestra in the classic Legend of Zelda theme, and that had much better results (I got a 72).

As is the norm with Nintendo products, Wii Music looks to be fun for all ages. The group dynamic is definitely there, and the freedom to just hang out and jam is also a good one (jam sessions aren’t scored, and you can even record your performances to video and share them via the WiiConnect24 feature). The game releases on October 20.

Speech betrays me. Use sight. More at http://www.pwnordie.com/blog/posts/3828

…or, the thoughts and ramblings of a hungry, sleep-deprived nerd who spent a day and a half on a New York City sidewalk.

Fans from all over flocked to New York City this weekend for a special event. Some came in groups, others traveled alone. They took buses, cars, trains, or planes, and brought tents and chairs to wait outside on the busy, rain-drenched streets for the chance to spend a few fun hours with people they had never met before. And all for one reason.

Michael Phelps was hosting Saturday Night Live.

But just one block south of the NBC Studios, another line was forming, outside Nintendo World. I got there Friday afternoon and met some folks who had been there since Thursday evening, waiting in line for another, cooler event (at least as far as we gamers are concerned) – the Nintendo Power 20th Anniversary Party.
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