An interesting article (with a truly inspired title!) over at the Escapist, talking about sexiness in video games. Not sex - sexiness. It’s a good read, even if it does start in a rather convoluted manner, and the related discussion in the forum features some more good thoughts. One good one (from the forum) that totally resonated with me is how Mass Effect, for all the controversy, was in fact totally sterile in its romantic undertakings.

For my part, I think it’s much more a matter of properly understanding the psychology of attraction than dealing with the fact that our technology is still not good enough to produce a realistic looking kiss in a game. And frankly, we are heavily suffering from the fact that game development is overrun by males, most of whom have no idea how to create even a semblance of that very thing they spend their entire lives chasing with their tongues hanging out. Oh crap, wait, I am a male. Well, even so

…oh wait, it’s just the Gears of War 2 edition. Call off the paramedics. Or whatever, let them come, maybe they can fix that pinkish fungus thing I’ve got growing behind my left ear while they are here.

…aaanyway, Gears of War 2 then. Well, without regurgitating the article which I am sure all of you have already swallowed whole, pooped out and swallowed again, I am just glad to learn that the core gameplay is remaining pretty much as in the original. I thought GoW1 absolutely nailed the core mechanics and the last thing I’d want to see is them messing with that just because they feel the dreaded “pressure to innovate”. I mean, hell, it will inevitably happen eventually, but I hope they last at least through GoW 3 before caving.

Can’t say that I got particularly excited by the new cast of characters (or baddies, for that matter) - but only because I was perfectly happy with them the first time around. It’s not like the first game really gave us a chance to get tired of them or anything - which brings me to the other point - it was awesome to hear that the story is going to get a depth-first makeover. I know some people won’t agree with me, but I think EVERY good game, no matter what the genre, should have a story that’s good enough to stand as an independent piece of work. All right, so maybe puzzle games get to have crappy stories, but that’s it.

The expanded cast of new vehicles sounds moderately exciting - here is hoping the vehicle gameplay gets a makeover as well. I am all for burning up the vampiric Kryll, but overall GoW1 vehicle combat was kind of anti-climactic as compared to the rest of the game. While I’ll admit that it sort of worked as a nice contrast at times, overall I’d like to see some hardcore vehicle combat integrated into the game. Maybe give Marcus a nuclear-powered pink tricycle with a mounted Hammer of Dawn, I dunno.

Anyway, those are my impressions of the preview. I gotta go (the paramedics are here) - but feel free to share your own thoughts on seeing your red GI this month.

A very special beast, the videogamer has to keep all his crap in some place or another. While some keep it neatier than Martha Stewart’s cell (too soon?), others tend to toss boxes, cartidges and peripherals with all the tidiness of an ape poo fight. Which side of the spectrum do you fall on?

Lately, I personally have been invading the general public’s entertainment room with my gaming stuff. What once was a perfectly normal TV room with a TV, a DVD player and maybe a plugged in console, now looks like some evil overlord’s tech room. I think it gives it a little personality, but that’s just me. Anyway, with no much further ado, I give you Leon’s gaming den (pictures taken with crappy cell phone and bad lighting).

TV and shelves. (old picture; TV is actually pretty old even if gargantuan).
PlayStation haven.
PS2/PS3/PSP games/PS3 system/PSP system
X-Box 360
Wii
GameCube
X-Box
Rockin’ stuff (”Rock Band” and “Guitar Hero III”; other RB stuff not pictured)

What does your gaming lair look like? Do share some pictures.

So while the real gaming press is busy salivating over various new game details revealed at THQ’s recent press event in sunny San Francisco, I, like a true modern-day consumer, only bother looking at the pictures. The one displayed here, in particular, is from an upcoming game called Darksiders: Wrath of War, and it makes me want to ask one thing and one thing only: “Can THQ make a sword that even a THQ character can’t lift?” Apparently, the answer is a resounding “NO”. THQ characters can lift ANY sword and that’s final. Even a sword that’s 10 times bigger than the character himself. Even a sword that denies every law of physics by its very existence. Even a sword that’s just too goddamned big to fit on the damn screen. And yes, even a sword whose only practical purpose might be to (yet again!) reshuffle all those “Top 10 biggest swords in video games!” articles.

And the game itself? It’s largely irrelevant to this particular rant, but it looks like a bunch of Shadow of the Colossus type giants who finally got off Prozac and decided to kick some ass. I’ll hold further commentary till the game comes out and I can assess the ridiculous size of those swords in person.

My Kingdom for a Quarter!

If you are too young to remember the original Contra, congratulations, because you probably still have two solid decades of Viagra-free sex left in you. That’s something to be happy about. If you DO remember the original Contra, however, we have good news for you as well: you can now rekindle those undoubtedly awesome memories with Contra 4 for the DS.

Contra 4 looks and feels much like the original. The AI is not any smarter, the movement is not any smoother, there is but 1 new “move”, and many of the weapons are the very same ones you learned to know and love when you last played this game in that other, soon to be completely forgotten century. In short, this is a real nostalgia game. If you’ve never played the original, you’ll probably wonder what all the fuss was about in the first place, and I can’t really blame you, because Contra 4 does not abide by any rules of today’s video gaming. It’s a game that doesn’t let you save and reload, doesn’t care to hand you a handkerchief when you get your ass handed to you on a rocket propelled grenade, doesn’t care about playing “fair”, and is generally built to punish you and take your every last quarter. It’s brutal, it’s simple, it’s hardcore. And if you were lucky enough to have been gaming 15-20 years ago, it’s awesome. As for you all you kids under 20, don’t bother. It’s nothing personal, but chances are, you won’t really like this game. It doesn’t matter how much of a hardcore gamer you think you are. It doesn’t even matter how much of a hardcore gamer you really are. This kind of hardcore is just different.

Graphically the game looks much like the NES original, with attractive 2D graphics, with some fake 3D perspective thrown in in a few places. The dual DS screen allows for levels which are twice as tall, and the game does a good job of making use of that real estate, even in levels that scroll horizontally as opposed to vertically. Controls are exactly as you remember them - you can run, lie down, do the famous spinning jump, and, new in this installment, use a grappling hook to lift yourself to platforms above. And of course, every move can (and should!) be combined with lots and lots of shooting. Enemies in the form of enemy soldiers, beasts, and stationary guns of all kinds swarm you constantly from all directions, and bullets, grenades, and various other projectiles are constantly drifting through the screen. Get hit with one, once, and you die. Die enough times, and you have to use up a continue. Use up those and you are done. Wipe your nose, wussy! Can you say “arcade style shooter” yet?

One of the things that made the original Contra so successful was the awesome level design, and thankfully, Contra 4 doesn’t disappoint in that department. The levels are consistently fun, varied, and challenging. Environments change from jungles, to factories, water and air levels, and other usual suspects, and everything looks clean and attractive in that distinctive Contra art style. The famous base levels with their from-behind perspective are back, except now they have a bit of a fake 3D feel to them, which takes nothing away from their great target practice gameplay. Weapons (many of them classics from the original) will not disappoint you either, and picking up the same weapon twice will result in an upgraded version, which is very nifty. As with the original Contra, having a fully tricked out weapon by the time you get to the level boss makes all the difference in the world, although each one can also be taken out with the default gun (albeit with a lot more skill and effort). The bosses themselves are classically massive and, like school teachers, require you to basically memorize their attack pattern in order to dispatch them. Overall, the game is as hard as you might expect, but that only doubles the fun, and the great classic audio tracks that come along with it round out the package nicely.

Contra 4 is a great game to take on the road (which is where most of us working folk do our gaming), and, like viagra-free sex, is great for delivering lots of fun in short bursts. And if you haven’t had sex yet, please, stay away from this game. We don’t want you dirtying its memory with your negative comments, and besides, you have other things to worry about.

Grade: 9.0 if you were born before 1983, 7.5 otherwise.

Like DDR? Hate getting off your lazy ass to move your feet around the living room? Have we got a game for you!

Presenting Boom Boom Rocket for the Xbox Live Arcade. Now I know what you’re thinking: “Zig,” (it’s okay, you can call me Zig), “you’re into sports and shooters and stuff. What’s with a rhythm game all of a sudden?” Well, my fellow gamers, sometimes I like to rock to the beat like anyone else, and when I’m too poor to buy Guitar Hero, I go for the tiny doses of awesomeness that is Boom Boom Rocket.

For the measly price of 800 Microsoft Points (which I think works out to be around 16 trillion Yen), you can start exploding fireworks to techno-tastic updates of some classical music faves. All these flashing lights and bright colors are sure to make you feel more cheerful after a long day at work. And if not, just pretend that instead of fireworks, you’re exploding some annoying customer’s head. Works like a charm. Of course, you could always just go sit at a bar and drown your sorrows in a pint or four, but again, we’re going for cheap and not much movement here, so indulge me.

As the headline up there implies, this is a Dance-Dance-Revolution style mini-game without the deformed power pad. Instead of shakin’ your groove thing on the dance floor, you simply press the A, B, X, or Y buttons in time with the similarly colored arrows (or letters, if you choose) on the screen as they approach the boom line. Then sit back and be amazed at all the pretty colors.

Don’t get too relaxed, though. This game has some challenge. The accuracy rating is a bit unforgiving - you really have to nail the button-press just right to get a perfect - but the score multipliers you get for racking up streaks definitely feed your competitive side. With online leaderboards and wonderful achievements like the Johnny Three-Fingers award, there’s plenty to keep you busy in this game. If your poor little fingers get tired, you can put the game in Visualization mode and watch as it explodes fireworks for you in time to your favorite blowing-shit-up music (My choice? Any variation of the Halo theme. Feel free to experiment, though).

There’s even split screen multiplayer, only when the developers were creating that part, they must’ve forgotten that split-screen game types usually have some sort of delineation between one side of the screen and the other. It’s quite easy to get confused as to whose firework is going where and mess up the timing a bit, but it’s easy enough to take in stride since it’s really a simple game overall.

In short, if you’re a music fan, a firework fan, or a lazy DDR fan (and hopefully not epileptic), you’re sure to get a kick out of this game.

Grade: 8.8

So one of the cooler parts of going to GDC is hanging out at the developer parties in the evenings. These events usually consist of drinking a lot of free booze and having a really good time while PR folks butter you up and convince you that their game is the bestest thing ever. Normally this is all a lie.

But sometimes they surprise you…

I was hanging out in some overcrowded night club with a Kotaku guy on one side and a fella from The Game Reviews on the other drinking very fancy adult beverages and noshing on whatever weird foodstuff happened by when EA DICE blew my mind.

Obstensibly, the event was for Battlefield: Bad Company, that was the main event and the demo that was set up. However, right before that they showed a demo for a game called Mirror’s Edge that was so intriguing and amazing that everyone in the room had to pick their collective jaws up off the floor.

This was a world premier, so details are still scant, but you play as a “Runner” in a dystopian utopian world where a gleaming perfect city has been created at the expense of all civil liberties and free thought. The resistance movement can only communicate through hand-written and delivered messages, as all electronic communication is monitored. The game is all about speed and momentum, and standing still is a death sentence. There’s almost no combat in this game aside from sporadic hand-to-hand action, and you’re far more suited to flight than fight.

There’s normally one best way through a level, and that route is set off by bright red objects. Most of the world, you see, is in black and white, with splashes of color showing up only on occassion. The developers promised that red had a special significance, as finding the red pipes, doors, and walls would lead you toward your goal. Things in the demo started quietly enough with the heroine (yep, you play as a girl) running along rooftops and making some dangerous jumps. Things picked up quickly however, as you are spotted by a news helicopter, which brings the police hot on your heels. The rest of the level was a heart-pumping, adrenaline-fueled race to safety.

Afterward, EA went on to show Battlefield but nobody cared. The whole room was buzzing about Mirror’s Edge, it was all we could talk about. Do yourself a favor and get this game on your radar right now. Stop caring about MGS 4, GoW 2, and all those other silly abbreviated sequels. This is the game you want to play, so you’d best get ready for it.

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