At first, when Razzie founder, John Wilson, called Uwe Boll the “worst living director on Earth”, I felt really bad for the guy. Ouch. I couldn’t help but wonder how it would feel if some website named me The Worst Crappy Web Writer on Earth. I wouldn’t like it at all! The worst? I’d like to think that I would at least make the top 50 in the 100 Top Crappy Web Writers List. (Ooh ooh! Hey hey! Could someone please create such a list? Esquire…I’m looking at you!)

But then I saw Boll’s  video response, where the gaming community’s favorite whipping boy speaks out against his Razzie and also appears to make fun of the people of Darfur and anyone who has ever raised or given money to the genocide-ridden region. Hm. Quite the dick move. Not quite as dicky, though, as the fact that he ends the video with a promise to go away and never make movies again; despite the fact that Imdb has listed 7 movies as “in production”, including Bloodrayne: 3 Warhammer, a movie he told Fangoria “… is definitely happening… and it will be the final installment.”

Whoa…here is a guy that just promised on camera not to make any more of what he calls m-o-v-i-e-s. And we are just supposed to believe him when he says he isn’t going to unleash BloodRayne 4: The Final Chapter upon an unsuspecting public. Well, I’m here to say that I do, in fact, suspect Mr. Boll. I suspect!

Well looky here! We’ve got a review before a game’s actual release date, for a change! Goes to show you even us regular folk get lucky sometimes Read on to find out why Killzone 2 deserves to have your hard earned cash on the morrow.

Summary: If you don’t buy this game when it comes out then you suck.

Setting: Helghan, home of the Helghast forces and your inevitable death by their hand.

Systems: PS3

Genre: FPS

Mood: Oh, it’s just one big tea party really.

Read the full review by Brad.

Capcom revealed a trailer of the game on XBL a few days back, showing off some spiffy new graphics and gameplay.

For those who don’t remember, the first installment was a third-person style shooter set on a frozen, seriously bug-infested planet called E.D.N. III (don’t worry, you weren’t supposed to remember that). Because it released about a month after the phenomenal Gears of War, the game arguably got much less attention than it deserved, since it turned out to be a solid (if fairly classical) shooter, with some very nice mech combat in the form of Vital Suits added into the mix. The somewhat weak story and voice acting, as well as the more traditional kind of gameplay made it pale in comparison to the innovative and striking Gears, but now Capcom is back with another chance to make a strong impression (and hopefully better timing!).

Judging from the trailer, the environments now include a broader range of locales, such as the jungle; unfortunately, if the clip is any indication, the voice acting might still leave something to be desired. Nonetheless, the trailer sports some nice clues as to how the game has evolved from the original Lost Planet. First and most evident is a much heavier focus on team-based play: most of the trailer shows four protagonists taking on the baddies in co-op mode. The grappling hooks are back, except now you can evidently scale some of the bigger monsters themselves, which is cool; the mech suits are also back, of course. One part of the trailer also shows a character running around and using a neat portable shield-barrier, which means Capcom might be taking a few lessons from GoW and placing heavier focus on use of cover. All in all, the game looks stellar so far, and barring some major goofs, we may have an excellent sequel on our hands somewhere around the end of 2009 (Capcom has not announced an official release date, however). Check out the trailer on XBL (or here on YouTube) and stay tuned for further updates.

Left 4 Dead has been given one of the finest forms of flattery that American culture can bestow upon a work. Following in the tradition of Saving Ryan’s Privates and Free Your Willy, we now have Left 4 Head. Yes, you read that right.

Zoey, seen here fully clothed.

Don’t believe me? Check out Kif’s Blog (via Wired.com of all places, thanks guys!) for a full, umm, review of DIY porno at its finest. Any other games/series you’d want to see get the XXX treatment?

For those of you who have been following the news about the upcoming Activision title Prototype, there is a new hands-on preview of the game over at the fantastic Eurogamer.net

The game basically looks like it will play much like one of the better Incredible Hulk titles, except you get to be smaller, and not green, which should only add to the feeling of ultimate superbadness. Of course, as the good folks at Eurogamer point out, much depends on how smoothly the character will control, and how easily you can make use of the various smash-tastic powers, all of which still remains a question since the current demo version is too limited to provide a clear answer. Still, if all goes well, we may be in for a fun super-overpowered romp when the game ships. Meanwhile, go ahead and check out the preview; the guys over at Eurogamer are always a pleasure to read.

Summary: A multiplayer game about shooting zombies in the face.

Setting: Zombie Apocalypse.

Systems: Xbox 360, PC

Genre: First Person Shooter

Mood: Dark, gritty, and with lots of claws and teeth.

Read the full review by Max.

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Though it released late 2008 in Japan, Nintendo’s follow up to the hugely popular DS handheld, the DSi, was rumored to be launching on our shores some time late in 09, probably near the holidays. News from the Big N this week, however, reveals that the system will launch stateside on April 5.

The new version of the handheld - priced at $169.99 (msrp) - brings with it two low-resolution cameras (one on the outside, one inside the middle hinge), an SD card slot for music, pictures, or (wait for it…) downloadable games that will be available on the DSiWare shop (hells friggin yeah!). The system will come in blue and black colors at launch, and though I’ll probably be suckered into buying one right off the bat, I’m also holding out hope for another Zelda edition at some point down the line (have I mentioned that I love my gold DS Lite?).

Nintendo also announced that their popular (in Japan thus far) beat tapping game Rhythm Heaven will also be releasing on April 5 alongside the DSi - though the game will be playable on any regular old DS or DS Lite as well. There will no doubt be games in the future that require the DSi, but for the time being, nearly every game made for the DS/DS Lite should be playable on the new incarnation of the handheld (with one major exception being the Guitar Hero: On Tour games, due to the DSi’s lack of a GBA cartridge slot).

Check out Nintendo’s official press release here.

Brutaaaaaaal!

Brutal Legend, one of my most anticipated games of 2009, is getting the royal treatment over at the Official Xbox Magazine, which has published a 6 page (ok, they are sort of little pages, but still!) article updating us on the recent developments with the game. Tim Schafer, the main guy over at Double Fine, the man behind Psychonauts, Full Throttle, and Day of the Tentacle - in other words, one funny mo-fo, talks about what’s been going on with the game in recent months and cracks a few good jokes in the process.

Also, the guys over at Kotaku inform us that the game is going to be previewed at the GDC next month, so expect more juicy updates in the coming weeks!

Why hello again, Shitty Economy! Didn’t expect you back so soon!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the heads keep rolling. And this time its hitting closer to our beloved hobby of video gaming. Following the suit of what seems like thousands of companies, G4TV has announced budget cuts - which they specifically refer to as “not budget cuts”, but PA-LEASE! - for Attack of the Show and X-Play, two of the more popular shows on the network. The number of new episodes per week is being cut to 4 for AOTS and 3 for X-Play, thus allowing G4 to trim the supporting production staff for both shows.

The network swears that the savings resulting from these staff reductions will be directed toward producing new original content for 2009… which we’ll believe just as soon as we see it. Meanwhile, our condolences go out to the victims. You’ve done good things, and we, the legions of fans of quality video game television, thank you. You’ve got Karma with us, baby. Now may the Force be with your resumes.

Gosh, is it time for another angry gamer rant already?! Well, you asked, and so it hath been delivered: a thoroughly bitter look at the top 5 games that have ruined gaming for the truly hardcore or, more accurately, for those who were into gaming before gaming became the hideous beast of mass popularity that it is today.

Join Eric Venezia as he takes a closer look at the 5 culprits (all of whom you most surely know, and quite possibly love!), and spells out the exact nature of their would-be crimes against us game geeks.

Here is the link to the full article.