The Gaming World is Officially Boring Today
Well, it’s official - there is absolutely nothing exciting going on in the world of gaming today. 45 minutes of pouring through recent headlines on 1up, n4g, gamegrep, kotaku and joystiq yields nothing but the usual boring drivel:
- Gears of War 2 and Fallout 3 and My Eyes Are Staring At The Back Of My Head And Getting Fucking Scared 4 are going to be playable at PAX this year.
- Some 18 year old idiot got his ass kicked by talking shit at a group of 30 dudes with brass knuckles.
- New exclusive screenshots of your granddaddy’s nose hairs are available for your viewing pleasure.
- Some big publisher moved a few bucks around in their bank account because that’s what they do every goddamn fucking Thursday.
- 65 really crappy games no one will ever buy except as a gift to their worst enemies are coming out next quarter.
- Spore is still not out, but here is one more bit in a line of 35,678 useless bits of information about it.
- The new Wii controller will not change the fact that most games for the console are pathetic, but at least it’s now responsive enough to double as an anal vibrator.
- Will Wright has actually been in a fucking coma for 3 years, but we are still holding the half-done source code over his lifeless body because we think the game is going to finish itself eventually.
An exciting world we live in, indeed. Thank god there are still some places that serve alcohol for lunch.
August 28th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
“- 65 really crappy games no one will ever buy except as a gift to their worst enemies are coming out next quarter.”
…and all of them are being made by the Casual divisions of EA and Ubisoft.
August 28th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
Amazing, but true