An interesting article (with a truly inspired title!) over at the Escapist, talking about sexiness in video games. Not sex - sexiness. It’s a good read, even if it does start in a rather convoluted manner, and the related discussion in the forum features some more good thoughts. One good one (from the forum) that totally resonated with me is how Mass Effect, for all the controversy, was in fact totally sterile in its romantic undertakings.

For my part, I think it’s much more a matter of properly understanding the psychology of attraction than dealing with the fact that our technology is still not good enough to produce a realistic looking kiss in a game. And frankly, we are heavily suffering from the fact that game development is overrun by males, most of whom have no idea how to create even a semblance of that very thing they spend their entire lives chasing with their tongues hanging out. Oh crap, wait, I am a male. Well, even so

A minor addendum to my previous post regarding Wii fit. I was able to snag some more info from the rep, who said that Mario Super Sluggers for the Wii should be out early June. He also was a bit discreet about some possible huge announcements coming from Nintendo’s press conference in either June or July; this was mentioned when I told him about my Zelda edition DS, which leads me to believe it’s either the announcement of the next Zelda game for the Wii, or confirmation of the rumors about a newer, even slimmer DS. Stay tuned for more details, and we’ll get you updated as soon as the news breaks.

[More info] Look for said big announcements around the time of E3, in mid-July.

Now I know you are all waiting with gasping breath for the release of Wii Fit - which recently got pushed back two more days for some reason (to May 21, for those of you not following). At an MSRP of nearly $90, it seems like quite a hefty price for the video game equivalent of an exercise bike crossed with a stepper, but it does have plenty of potential.

Well, today I had my first opportunity to give it a try, and though it’s weird as hell to control at first, even in my limited trial time I could definitely see some inklings of fun and, perhaps more importantly, the potential for some quality exercise. I tried my hand (or feet, if you will) at the ski slalom and soccer heading events, then watched others make fools out of themselves to the hula hoop and tightrope walking activities. The Nintendo vendor kept trying to get some poor sap to try the pushup-yoga routine thingy, but he wasn’t having much luck finding such a sucker. The board is extremely sensitive to your shifting weight, but the events - at least on the easy mode which we were playing - give you a chance to get your feet underneath you by starting the events off slowly; for example, the slalom began with very wide turns and flags spaced far apart, then progressed to tighter, more closely divided gates to ski through. There’s definitely a learning curve, but it seems like a ton of fun to engage in.

Overall, I’m excited. Of course, this was a vendor event for the store I work at, so the message we were being told was, “This is going to sell lots of units and lots of systems! Yay money!” But through it all, I kept my gamer poise and just imagined the fun I’ll be having and the weight I’ll be losing (I hope!) come May 21.

So, in honor of the recent baby girl boom here at Game Lemon. (Game Lemon’s editor and resident Boy Band Fanatic, Vaga, likes to brag non-stop about his baby girl, but I did the baby girl thing almost 2 years ago…way before it was cool.) I think a Mother’s Day blog entry is in order. What are you getting for mom this year? What? You’re too busy playing video games to call your mom? Shame on you. You know she used to change your diapers right? Uh huh. Well, you know that, before you had the finger dexterity to do it for yourself, she also used to pick your nose for you, right? She used a tissue because she’s a lady, but still, it was a lot of work. And now you can’t be bothered to put down the wiimote long enough to buy a crappy ass bunch of flowers. Nice. Real freaking nice. If you’re going to be that lazy, here are some crappy games you can buy for mom the next time you hit GameSpot. You should find them in the bargain bin, but knowing GS, they will probably be featured on an end cap for the low, low price of 39.95.

Bratz Super Babyz

Nintendo DS

Mom’s love babies. And what could be better than a baby? A baby with whore-ish hair and make-up! I think the original tagline for this game was “Look, up in the sky, it’s a hot chick…No it’s a drag queen…. Oh no! It’s just a really slutty baby!” Seriously, this is all Nintendo has to say about this game: Play as Cloe, Sasha, Jade and Yasmin and use their special new super-powers to help the citizens of Stylesville fend off an invasion of aliens from outer space!

Um, no thanks. Warning: only buy this for your mom if you hate her.

If you like your babies sans eyeliner, then there’s also:

Babyz. Imagine. DS

Ooh. It’s like Harvest Moon, only instead of raising vegetables, you’re raising babies. Unless you seriously screw up. Just kidding, I don’t know for a fact that “coma baby” is included in this edition of Babyz…but it might be. Tragic. Speaking of tragic, this is what Imagine has to say about this game:

The first ever SIM game focused on babies, Imagine Babyz speaks to the caring nurturer in you! It points out important tools you need to be a good sitter while giving you tons of ways to make errands and housework fun—whether you’re dressing the kids up to go shopping, buying baby food, vacuuming their rooms, painting the walls pink or mowing the lawn. And the work pays off when you get to spend your hard-earned money on decorating your house! Ooh-la-la!

You know what, I completely disagree with the whole idea of a baby sim. If teenaged girls want to practice being baby mommies, they can do it the same way we did: with actual babies.

Warning: Don’t buy this for your creepy uncle. Come on. The dude has enough trouble trying to fit into society as is without getting caught on the bus playing a Baby SIM.

Or you could just get her a Lemmy doll. All moms love Lemmy!

At the Playstation Day in London Sony announced that they are pushing back the release of LBP one more month to October, apparently because that’s just what game companies do and no game is ever allowed to be released on time, EVER. In addition to the LBP delay, Sony pres Kaz Hirai said that Home would not launch “until I’m happy with it,” which we take to mean not until he can turn it into a tangible being which he can hold and make sweet, sweet love to.

Well, according to Kotaku presidential candidate Barack Obama has managed to mention GTA without launching into a spit-propelling rant about hookers and morality. Truly, we could not expect anything more video game friendly than that out of a politician in this day and age, and this is clearly a sign that God wants me to vote for Obama, kidnap McCane and Hillary, and stick them on a deserted island armed with nothing more than copies of GTA IV and a couple of dirty hypodermic needles. Thank you, Lord, I know how to acknowledge your signs when you send them to me. I am on the mother f*cker; just chill them niggers out and wait for the cavalry, which should be coming directly.