In yet another blow to the Jack Thompsons of the world, the Video Game Voters Network is reporting that video game retailers are - *GASP* - doing their jobs! A record 80% of underaged secret shoppers were turned away while attempting to buy M-rated games during the past year, according to reports from the Federal Trade Commission. This is a drop of 38% from the last report in 2006. As the VGVN puts it, “With this in mind, one has to ask, is targeting video games for more regulation really necessary?” Go stick your noses into something else with more importance to the American people… like steroids in baseball.
According to the report, the media with the highest percentage of underaged purchasers were CDs with Parental Advisory Labels and Unrated DVDs. So when the dude turns you down for GTA IV, at least you know you can still go out and buy some porn. And beer.
[addendum] Of course, that’s all well and good, until something like this happens. Stupid kids. (Although, I like the author’s last line - “You read it here first, folks: reduce your local violent crime rate by buying video games for kids.”)
I don’t usually feel the need to inform the general public of the failures in my bodily functions - except, of course, when I drop a particularly juicy load in my pants as a result of some truly breathtaking occurrence. Today, my friends, is such a day, for Ubisoft has finally announced a sequel to one of my favorite games of all time, Beyond Good and Evil.
Check out the awesome trailer below (supposedly rendered using the in-game engine, though I am a little skeptical), as well as more goodies here.
Last week it was officially announced that the much revered 360 exclusive is no more. The July issue of Electronic Gaming Montly magazine has some scoops regarding what the PS3 port will include.
According to the devs, the graphics will remain the same. However, the game will include all the fixes which were added to the 360 version after its original release. Although not much is being said about new content previously unseen, the developers have hinted at it by mentioning the possibility of extensions and augmentations.
Update (28/05/08).
An official statement from Take 2 Games have confirmed “The PLAYSTATION 3 system title will be released in October 2008 with new features and content that heighten the award-winning experience.” Find the statement from Take 2’s official website here. Not only that, brothers, but it seems like the first screenshots of the PS3 version have surfaced in the gaming website Gamed. Find the screenshots here.
I never played “BioShock” in its original release despite owning Microsoft’s console. I’ll wait to play this enhanced version to pass judgement. Stay tuned to the GameLemon blog for more information.
Today Capcom formally announced the console release of Street Fighter IV for Xbox 360, PS3, and PC. While they didn’t give a date, the announcement does confirm something we’ve always known, that you can’t release a game in arcades and expect to make any money. How on earth are you going to get nostalgia players (your only real audience for SF IV) to give you their money if you don’t release the game on a medium they actually use. You’re about as likely to see me in an arcade as you are to see Oprah maintain her weight.
Also of note in the announcement is that there are currently no plans for a Wii version. Just further proof that the Wii isn’t for video games, but rather for random weight loss simulators and pretend sports games. If you want to bash heads with Ken and Ryu, you’re going to need a real system.
Gears of War designer Cliff Bleszinski, more commonly known under the moniker ‘CliffyB’, announced yesterday that he no longer wishes to be called by that name, since it is not consistent with his current lifestyle and life goals. When asked whether this essentially means that he has decided to become an old fart, Cliffy smiles, and answers: “Precisely.”
Apparently, old fartdom has been a long time dream of the renowned game designer. Over the past several years, Bleszinski has often contemplated officially beginning his apprenticeship as an old fart, but the unbridled enthusiasm of millions of teenage gamers over Gears of War has made it difficult. “Now that the hiatus over the original Gears of War has gone down, and the hiatus over Gears of War 2 has not yet begun in earnest, I feel like I have a precious window of opportunity to finally embark on the path to my life long dream”, says Cliff.
And what’s so attractive about being an old fart? According to Bleszinski, the benefits are plenty. “They eat what they want, don’t need to look good for the ladies, and don’t have to move around a lot,” says the game designer formerly known as CliffyB. “They can just sit at their desks, scratch their bellies, and lament the unfairness of life. And, because of the added weight, they are a lot steadier on their feet during strong winds. And that’s just cool.”
To be sure, the journey towards old fartdom will not be easy. Bleszinski ’s first goal: gain 15 pounds and grow 50 gray hairs in the next six months. These are the minimum acceptance requirements that have been set for the renowned designer by the Old Fart Association of America.
At 33 years of age, some critics say Bleszinski’s entry into the ranks of old farts may be a little premature. But the designer disagrees. “Early old fartdom runs in my family,” he says. “My father became an old fart when he was only 31. And my grandfather is rumored to have entered his apprenticeship even earlier, in his late twenties. Sure, people didn’t live as long in those days, but still, by my family’s standards, I am a few years behind.”
Not all fans are thrilled with Bleszinski’s new move. One totally random eighteen year-old self-proclaimed gamer we met on the street called the decision “nucking futs”. And another twenty five year old said that “in 10 years, he’ll be begging for someone to call him CliffyB again”. But Bleszinski is not deterred. “In 10 years, they will understand,” he says.
In what marks a first actual purchase of an XBL game for me, I’ve been spending some time with a little game called Puzzle Quest: Challenge of the Warlords. Playing “proper” games requires lengthier blocks of time than my schedule has been allowing lately, so I thought I’d give some lighter fare a shot. Gotta feed that sucking feeling of gaming hunger somehow!
Puzzle Quest is one of those “take a puzzle game and cross it with a wooly mammoth” affairs, where a puzzle game (usually featuring some colored gems) is forced to fornicate with another genre such as fighting to produce something like Super Puzzle Fighter. In this case, “the wooly mammoth” is actually the RPG genre, and so Puzzle Quest takes you on a classic role-playing adventure where you travel from place to place completing assignments for your beloved Princess in a quest to save the kingdom from the threat of the Undead. Conversations and cutscenes are presented using an attractive selection of still artwork and, where in a traditional RPG you’d pull out your sword or prepare to apply some battle polish to your trusty wand, in Puzzle Quest you instead challenge your enemies to a competitive puzzle game. Ghandi would be proud.
Puzzle fanatics have invariably seen this flavor of puzzle in some shape or form before: you are faced with a board full of colored gems, and your goal is to swap the position of nearby gems in such a way as to line up 3 or more of the same color in a row, horizontally or vertically. Puzzle Quest dutifully adds some RPG flavor to this simple scenario: one type of gem is a skull gem, and lining up 3 or more of those will take hit points away from your opponent. Lining up other types of gems will either add money to your purse or fill up different color magic gauges. Depending on how you created your character (your choices include some typical RPG-style classes), you will have access to various flavors of spells, which consume the various magic points when cast. As might be expected, some spells do direct damage to your opponent, while others are defensive, effect the playing field, or provide different types of bonuses tied to actions happening on the board.
You and your enemy take turns (unless you manage to line up 4 or more gems in a row, in which case you get a free turn), and you are playing on the same board, so strategy is important. The ability to use a spell rather than take a turn adds a nice wrinkle to the strategy; you can use this in the case when there are few favorable moves left on the board, and you’d like to force your opponent to make a bad move rather than have to make it yourself.
Puzzle Quest adds even more RPG elements to the mix besides spells. You can use money gained from lining up money gems (or from completing quests) to purchase various pieces of armor and weapons; upgrade your stats to gain more life points and add power to your spells; build up your own citadel where you can research additional spells, craft special items and more; and you can even add members to your party which will provide benefits when fighting certain types of enemies. Overall, the puzzle and the RPG have clearly had some rather thorough and steamy sex here, and the offspring definitely feels like a fully integrated product of the two, possessing two equally committed and involved parents.
That said, there will likely still be players who’ll want to skip all the chit chat and other RPG trimmings and get straight to the addictive puzzle action. Thankfully, Puzzle Quest lets you do just that if that’s your fancy: you can go straight to the arcade action, vs. the computer, a second player, or via Xbox Live. If you are like me, you might try to use the two-player mode to get your significant other involved in the gaming process. In my case this was met with limited success, since my wife, who likes puzzle games but is otherwise as non-hardcore a gamer as one can possibly imagine, wasn’t too taken with all the RPG-inspired modifications to the gameplay. She scoffed at the idea of being able to use spells - something about people shamelessly bastardizing a good puzzle game. The only way I was able to get her to play is by promising not to use magic at all and stick to the core puzzle gameplay only.
While your mileage with the wife (or other significant other) may vary, overall Puzzle Quest is quite an enjoyable affair if you like puzzle games and don’t mind a little RPG makeup on top. To say that the RPG element really transforms this game into some kind of new experience wouldn’t be quite true; it largely remains a decoration on top of the core puzzle game, but it’s a pretty darn nice decoration nonetheless.
You’ve trained your brain, focused your eyes, and saved Princesses Peach and Zelda once again. Now you’re searching for something else to do with your loveable little handheld from Nintendo. Here’s a double dose of some fast, fun, and highly accessible puzzle action for the DS.
The New York Times Crosswords
Though this title’s been out for a while, it still boasts some of the best handwriting recognition the system has to offer. It may seem a little on the nerdy side to be seeking out Times puzzles more often than over Sunday morning coffee, but if you’re a fan of the pastime at all, you know how challenging - and ultimately, rewarding - these crosswords can be.
There are several modes to choose from, with the most engaging being the Puzzle Week option. Taking you on a Monday-to-Sunday romp through the wicked minds of the crazies who make up these tortuous puzzles, this mode gets harder the more you work at it, with the end result of being able to open up Brain Busters and even more daily challenges.
If you’re in the mood for some cooperative crossword connecting, simply track down your nearest friend with a DS and get crackin on some download play. Only one card is needed, and you can do a puzzle together or race against one another to see who the bigger geek is.
Pressed for time? Don’t have all day to sit and stare at your DS? Try Quick Puzzle, which serves up an offering based on your profile’s day preference - Monday for easy, Sunday for nigh-on impossible, with plenty of variation in between. This is great for beginners who want to practice and get the hang of the sometimes irritating puns and clue choices the editors use, or for sadists who enjoy getting their asses kicked by the Sunday puzzles while waiting for their java to brew. Either way, a clever hint system allows you to find the missing letters - no 900 number needed - in case you have no idea what a particular clue is referencing (which, for most of us, can often be the case). The more hints you use, however, the lower your score at the end. There aren’t really any unlockables though, save the Brain Busters mentioned above, so the grades don’t really matter past personal pride and bragging rights.
This is a great, fun game overall, serving up plenty of time-wasting and sometimes (gasp!) educational entertainment. Definitely recommended for anyone who slips the magazine section into the local paper to avoid paying for the Sunday Times. Grade: 8.7/10
Crosswords DS
If you like your puzzles a little more dumbed down and a lot smaller, Crosswords DS will definitely be your brain teaser of choice. That’s not to say the game is bad. On the contrary, being part of Nintendo’s Touch Generations series, the title offers plenty of modes and game types for players of all ages. Easy crosswords give you an entry assist mode, which tells you immediately if your letter guess is right or wrong. The mode can be turned off for the higher difficulties, allowing for more of a challenge as you get to the larger, more in-depth puzzles.
Despite the title, though, the game is not just crossword puzzles. Separate modes for anagrams and word search expand on the enjoyment, with simple interfaces and several mode choices again presenting an easy option for players of all reading/skill levels. With the DS held book-style (like in Brain Age), you can drag and drop letters into open slots to form words in anagrams, then check the “top” screen to see how many words you have remaining. Word search allows you to use the stylus as a highlighter, with the non-touch screen providing your list of words to find in a convenient, easy to read list. Crosswords DS is definitely more simplistic than the NYT Crosswords, but no less enjoyable. The pick-up-and-play nature of the game allows for instant accessibility for all. The one downside of Nintendo’s offering is the lack of wireless multiplayer, but it’s easy enough to sit next to a friend and unscramble the anagrams or complete a word search if you need some help.
Grade: 8.0/10
There ya go - two games to feed your desire for on-the-go word-based gaming. The styles are very different, but no matter which title seems more appropriate for you, you’re bound to have a good time. And who knows, you may just learn something in the process.
In our never-ending quest to keep you up to date on all the latest video game tidbits, we’ve got some rhythm-based goodness for you today. Hot on the heels of the new Aerosmith edition of Guitar Hero, due next month, a new GH appears to be in the works. Our sources are telling us that the next version, appropriately titled Guitar Hero IV (that means 4, not that you’ll need an intravenous hookup after playing on expert), will be in stores around October 26 of this year. Yes, that’s roughly a year since the last one, which came out about a year after the previous installment. Noticing a trend?
Not to be outdone, EA/MTV are looking to release Rock Band 2 for the holiday season as well, with a rough release slated for November. Here’s hoping all the poor folks who dropped $170 the first time around can still use the same instruments for the new songs. We’ll keep you posted as the release dates approach, but we figured we’d lend a hand to those of you who like to get your Christmas/Hannukah lists started early.
Anyone out there kicking themselves for not yet downloading Boogie Bunnies from XBLA need fret no longer, as you can now release your collectively held breath as the game is available for PC download. I know it’s exciting, but you just need to calm down for a minute and go change your pants.
Now that you’re no longer soiled, you may be wondering, “What makes Boogie Bunnies so special? Isn’t it just another gem matching game?” Ye gads no! It’s a bunny matching game for godsakes, and dancing bunnies at that! C’mon people, you know you want to download this, they’re adorable dancing bunnies! Fine, you be spoilsports and just go back to playing GTA while I go back to doing the samba with these little critters. You don’t know what you’re missing, really.
For those of you cool enough to be down with the Boogie Bunnies, you can download the trial version here.
An interesting article (with a truly inspired title!) over at the Escapist, talking about sexiness in video games. Not sex - sexiness. It’s a good read, even if it does start in a rather convoluted manner, and the related discussion in the forum features some more good thoughts. One good one (from the forum) that totally resonated with me is how Mass Effect, for all the controversy, was in fact totally sterile in its romantic undertakings.
For my part, I think it’s much more a matter of properly understanding the psychology of attraction than dealing with the fact that our technology is still not good enough to produce a realistic looking kiss in a game. And frankly, we are heavily suffering from the fact that game development is overrun by males, most of whom have no idea how to create even a semblance of that very thing they spend their entire lives chasing with their tongues hanging out. Oh crap, wait, I am a male. Well, even so
In yet another blow to the Jack Thompsons of the world, the Video Game Voters Network is reporting that video game retailers are - *GASP* - doing their jobs! A record 80% of underaged secret shoppers were turned away while attempting to buy M-rated games during the past year, according to reports from the Federal Trade Commission. This is a drop of 38% from the last report in 2006. As the VGVN puts it, “With this in mind, one has to ask, is targeting video games for more regulation really necessary?” Go stick your noses into something else with more importance to the American people… like steroids in baseball.
